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Diary of a lost girl novel part 1
July 12, 1992
What a dream! I can do the assosiation thing and see some connection but the symbolism was wonderful! I can only remember bits and pieces - there was a huge dark storm, tornado, approaching the house I was in with several others - a house similar to the one on 51st here. The storm and funnel were fast approaching I conquered it by commanding all evil gone from that place in the name of Jesus. There was a lady dressed in witch-like attire yelling at me not to say that and reaching at me. I'd had my eyes closed and saw her when I opened them.
Then someone said, "what's that?" Suddenly there was a tube of brilliant light outside the windows. The tube was glowing and spinning, I was trying to close the front door against the strong storm winds, after dragging a frozen cat into the house. I could close and lock the door but then the wind would blow it open because the lock had not fully caught. Then a strong man was at my left side, slightly behind me. I couldn't see his face, but he pushed with me. I noticed together it was easy to close and lock the door.
I know there were more facets to the dream but they're blurred. THis dream so powerfully shows me my father's precense in my life - and that I'm not alone - and that together there is strength and that He will protect me from that storm!
Praise God!
I still feel lonely and confused as to the direction my life is to take. However, I am feeling stronger more often.
July 15, 1992
I'm sitting in Java Jive and have ordered my half-price chicken pot pie dinner.
It really all is going to be okay - Correction! - It really is ok! I saw Mr. Dan Stock this morning and he paraphrased everything I told him. Hell, I'm doing lots to look after and improve me! He pointed out that I did NOT fall apart after Roger left.
In fact, I've blossomed!
I don't need a man to validate me! I have friends.
I can be with a man quite comfortably when they don't want sex - ie, Gorden and Brian.
I'm ok.
I must start to meditate and my "mantra" will be Jesus!
This is fun. I wonder if keeping a journal differs in any way with keeping a diary. Probably not - just a more mature phrase. And there are "courses" for keeping one, for Pete's sake! Just realized the reference to off Peter! How.
Last night between midnight and 3:00 A.M, I found out I'm an ENFP on the Bryers Briggs type indicater. And I feel closer to realizing the dream of becoming in one way or another, a counseller! The VEISA sure points that way. This whole tie is so exciting! I no longer feel guilty in just being, or relaxing, or looking after ME!
As Mr. VS pointed out, I'm throwing out old "stuff", ie, donut and garage sale! And if I want to move, I can and if Roger misinterprets that, I'm not responsible for how he feels! And I do need to be honest with him and let him know I'm not ready for marriage yet and I'm not responsible for his reaction. His stuff has conditioned him.
July 28, 1992
So, I finally had a phone call from the Great West Life Inc Co and spoke to Frankie someone. She said they only recieved my apllication YESTERDAY!! Damn that Cheryl. She's been trying to control me. Because I did not phone her as she TOLD me to, she withheld my application for benefits!!!
I am so angry!
I spoke to Lora today and she told me about Cheryl LYING at the Hearing for Discovery! They will stoop to ANY level to stay on top.
That was written while having a 1/2 price dinner at Java Jive! I'm now at the U of A farm.
The sun is waring a cacaphony of sounds from the birds, gas pools are pushing into 4 balloons above me, luge humming around me,...
What a dream! I can do the assosiation thing and see some connection but the symbolism was wonderful! I can only remember bits and pieces - there was a huge dark storm, tornado, approaching the house I was in with several others - a house similar to the one on 51st here. The storm and funnel were fast approaching I conquered it by commanding all evil gone from that place in the name of Jesus. There was a lady dressed in witch-like attire yelling at me not to say that and reaching at me. I'd had my eyes closed and saw her when I opened them.
Then someone said, "what's that?" Suddenly there was a tube of brilliant light outside the windows. The tube was glowing and spinning, I was trying to close the front door against the strong storm winds, after dragging a frozen cat into the house. I could close and lock the door but then the wind would blow it open because the lock had not fully caught. Then a strong man was at my left side, slightly behind me. I couldn't see his face, but he pushed with me. I noticed together it was easy to close and lock the door.
I know there were more facets to the dream but they're blurred. THis dream so powerfully shows me my father's precense in my life - and that I'm not alone - and that together there is strength and that He will protect me from that storm!
Praise God!
I still feel lonely and confused as to the direction my life is to take. However, I am feeling stronger more often.
July 15, 1992
I'm sitting in Java Jive and have ordered my half-price chicken pot pie dinner.
It really all is going to be okay - Correction! - It really is ok! I saw Mr. Dan Stock this morning and he paraphrased everything I told him. Hell, I'm doing lots to look after and improve me! He pointed out that I did NOT fall apart after Roger left.
In fact, I've blossomed!
I don't need a man to validate me! I have friends.
I can be with a man quite comfortably when they don't want sex - ie, Gorden and Brian.
I'm ok.
I must start to meditate and my "mantra" will be Jesus!
This is fun. I wonder if keeping a journal differs in any way with keeping a diary. Probably not - just a more mature phrase. And there are "courses" for keeping one, for Pete's sake! Just realized the reference to off Peter! How.
Last night between midnight and 3:00 A.M, I found out I'm an ENFP on the Bryers Briggs type indicater. And I feel closer to realizing the dream of becoming in one way or another, a counseller! The VEISA sure points that way. This whole tie is so exciting! I no longer feel guilty in just being, or relaxing, or looking after ME!
As Mr. VS pointed out, I'm throwing out old "stuff", ie, donut and garage sale! And if I want to move, I can and if Roger misinterprets that, I'm not responsible for how he feels! And I do need to be honest with him and let him know I'm not ready for marriage yet and I'm not responsible for his reaction. His stuff has conditioned him.
July 28, 1992
So, I finally had a phone call from the Great West Life Inc Co and spoke to Frankie someone. She said they only recieved my apllication YESTERDAY!! Damn that Cheryl. She's been trying to control me. Because I did not phone her as she TOLD me to, she withheld my application for benefits!!!
I am so angry!
I spoke to Lora today and she told me about Cheryl LYING at the Hearing for Discovery! They will stoop to ANY level to stay on top.
That was written while having a 1/2 price dinner at Java Jive! I'm now at the U of A farm.
The sun is waring a cacaphony of sounds from the birds, gas pools are pushing into 4 balloons above me, luge humming around me,...
