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Whiskey took his soul...
#WritcoStoryPrompt30
For a timeless moment, he was suspended within the confines of his car. Then gravity took over with a force that sent the vehicle hurtling down the face of the ravine.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." His broken apology flew down with the blood spewing from his lips...
He has finally done it. He has finally done what so many warned him he would but he chose to ignore it.
Dave Benson age 30. Alcoholic. He was sitting in a bar like every other night in his life before this horrific moment that just occured, throwing one double whiskey on the rocks after the other down his throat. Trying to forget just how meaningless and empty his life has become.
Things wasn't always this bad. Dave got married at age 24 to the woman he worshipped, they were so happy. She fell pregnant during their honeymoon, but alas at 6 months of pregnancy she went into labor. The baby was underweight and his lungs underdeveloped. Dave sat with his son in his arms for the entire 3 hours he was alive and finally as his last breath left his perfect little body, a light in Dave's eyes died too.
Dave started staying out late, grabbing for a drink more often, trying to numb the emptiness of missing his son. Another year went by and Dave's wife Lauren fell pregnant again. Scared, too unsure to be too involved, he watched the pregnancy, all the while still grabbing at a drink too often and seeming cut off emotionally to his wife. 9 months later, on a cold winter day Dave was outside early that morning when he heard Lauren call. Her water broke.
Upon arrival at the hospital, Lauren's bloodpressure peaked, her life and as they heard again a little boy, both of them were in danger. Dave felt a cold hand enfold his heart..he mumbled:"please no, not again, don't take my little boy again"...
Hours went by, Joshua Kyle Benson was born via a cesarian section. Perfect and healthy and strong. But Lauren did not make it. She passed away just as Joshua took his first breath, the most angelic smile on her face.
Dave was in total turmoil. His heart bursting with love and pride for his little boy and at the same time breaking and shattered because the woman he worshipped and loved is gone. Guilt eating at him as he stared at his sleeping perfect son later that night at the hospital. Lauren is gone..he never explained why he became distant, he pushed her away and made her feel like she was worthless. Many nights he came home so drunk, puking on the floor and she would silently clean up his vomit with her pregnant body. She died thinking he stopped loving her. Dave walked out of the hospital, to his car, to the nearnest bar...
He drank so much, when he woke up he was covered in his own vomit and urine inside his car in the bar parking lot the next morning. No memory of how he got there or what happened. Then reality came back and he started weeping for the loss of his wife. And smiling at the same time for the gift she gave him, a perfect little boy. Torn, Dave headed home to shower and plan what next.
The funeral was big. Almost everyone Lauren came in contact with adored her sweet nature, beauty and kind heart. Dave's mother, a widow,decided she would be of more use caring for her son and newborn grandson than staying in her own house so she moved in with them. Dave adored his little boy. When he got off work he would spend hours playing with him and holding and enjoying his baby boy. But came night and time to retire to bed..he stared at the empty bed and the guilt engulfed him. He started keeping a bottle whiskey in his room..swallowing big gulps directly from the bottle.
Grabbing his keys to the bar...one double after the other on the rocks.
Day in and day out, the liquor became his comfort, erasing the guilt. Helping him numb emotions. But as too much of anything does, it also started influencing his daily life. He started showing up late for work or not showing up at all because the hangover would let him pass out till way past noon. He got numerous warnings from his mom, his boss, his friends, until finally he was fired.
Now added to his misery, failure, added guilt, financial strain wss to name but a few that made Dave rely even heavier on his whiskey. At this point Joshua was 4 years old, Dave could not face his son anymore, he felt ashamed, he started avoiding his little boy completely. Joshua loving his daddy so much was confused, he became difficult and moody, not understanding and thinking his daddy stopped loving him.
Dave's mother stepped in. She took Joshua and moved back to her house. Insisting that Dave sort out his life before he contacts them again because he has hurt his little boy enough. He watched her drive away with his little boy. Dave felt empty, dead inside, but he didn't say anything or try to stop her. He just stood there. Turning on his heel, to his room, the bottle whiskey has now become 3 bottles hidden in his closet, he finished all 3 that night. Blackout drunk and passed out on his bed.
Dave woke up that next morning in the empty house. Realising...Joshua is 5 years old today. He let his little boy go with his mother one day before his 5th birthday, his little boy that believed his daddy doesn't love him anymore, his daddy threw him away. Dave started weeping, sorrow filled his entire body, disgusted at himself looking at his vomit and urine drenched clothes, wondering how he could allow this to go so far. He grabbed his cellphone and dialed his mother's number..
"Mom,before you say anything",he started when she answered" Mom, I am so sorry, Mom I love and appreciated everything you have done so far for me and Joshua, I realise, I need help Mom"..his voice broke as he cried. Dave's mother weeped hearing her son so broken and genuinely remorsefull of his actions. She said with pain and tears in her voice" Son, I forgive you, now shower and shave and come wish your little boy a happy birthday again. He still loves you. He will accept you in a heartbeat. That is the wonder of a childs innocence. He won't remember the bad only the good my boy".
Dave hung up the phone, his heart lighter, he took a shower, shaved, looked in a long time like the man he used to be. Making an appointment with a therapist and searching for the closest AA meetings for his alcohol problem. Dave was for the first time in 6 years, motivated, excited, almost happy again, ready to face the world. One more stop at the toy store before heading to his mom's house. A birthday present for Joshua. His gorgeous little boy. He decided on a huge stuffed bear and a big red fire truck. In his minds eye seeing his little boys laugh of excitement about the presents and having his daddy back.
Dave's excitement grew as he started the drive to his mom's house that was two towns away from his own. The breathtaking nature he was surrounded with, mountains, driving faster, he didn't notice he was driving and speeding through the most dangerous ravine with extremely steep sides. The narrow gorge was completely unnoted by Dave that was a million miles away in thought, planning on how he would straighten out his life, make up to his son for pushing him away making him feel unloved and unwanted...Dave looked up too late...in the middle of the narrow gorge road stood a deer..he stepped on the brakes..realising he was speeding, going too fast...nothing. He also neglected to take his car to get the faulty brakes fixed always putting it off with excuses and now...now the brakes hav failed...he can't slow down or stop..Dave knew...this was it...he is paying for 6 years of being a dreadful husband, father and son.
He swerved and then..For a timeless moment, he was suspended within the confines of his car. Then gravity took over with a force that sent the vehicle hurtling down the face of the ravine.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." His broken apology flew down with the blood spewing from his lips... crash after crash as the car hit the ground for a moment before tumbling further down to the bottom of the ravine...Dave mumbled.."I'm sorry,I'm sorry"...until he was completely deformed, every bone in his body crushed, every organ smashed and no longer working, no heartbeat, nothing, just a lifeless bloody corpse at the bottom of the ravine in a wreck that was once a car. It was over....
© Lolla Smith
For a timeless moment, he was suspended within the confines of his car. Then gravity took over with a force that sent the vehicle hurtling down the face of the ravine.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." His broken apology flew down with the blood spewing from his lips...
He has finally done it. He has finally done what so many warned him he would but he chose to ignore it.
Dave Benson age 30. Alcoholic. He was sitting in a bar like every other night in his life before this horrific moment that just occured, throwing one double whiskey on the rocks after the other down his throat. Trying to forget just how meaningless and empty his life has become.
Things wasn't always this bad. Dave got married at age 24 to the woman he worshipped, they were so happy. She fell pregnant during their honeymoon, but alas at 6 months of pregnancy she went into labor. The baby was underweight and his lungs underdeveloped. Dave sat with his son in his arms for the entire 3 hours he was alive and finally as his last breath left his perfect little body, a light in Dave's eyes died too.
Dave started staying out late, grabbing for a drink more often, trying to numb the emptiness of missing his son. Another year went by and Dave's wife Lauren fell pregnant again. Scared, too unsure to be too involved, he watched the pregnancy, all the while still grabbing at a drink too often and seeming cut off emotionally to his wife. 9 months later, on a cold winter day Dave was outside early that morning when he heard Lauren call. Her water broke.
Upon arrival at the hospital, Lauren's bloodpressure peaked, her life and as they heard again a little boy, both of them were in danger. Dave felt a cold hand enfold his heart..he mumbled:"please no, not again, don't take my little boy again"...
Hours went by, Joshua Kyle Benson was born via a cesarian section. Perfect and healthy and strong. But Lauren did not make it. She passed away just as Joshua took his first breath, the most angelic smile on her face.
Dave was in total turmoil. His heart bursting with love and pride for his little boy and at the same time breaking and shattered because the woman he worshipped and loved is gone. Guilt eating at him as he stared at his sleeping perfect son later that night at the hospital. Lauren is gone..he never explained why he became distant, he pushed her away and made her feel like she was worthless. Many nights he came home so drunk, puking on the floor and she would silently clean up his vomit with her pregnant body. She died thinking he stopped loving her. Dave walked out of the hospital, to his car, to the nearnest bar...
He drank so much, when he woke up he was covered in his own vomit and urine inside his car in the bar parking lot the next morning. No memory of how he got there or what happened. Then reality came back and he started weeping for the loss of his wife. And smiling at the same time for the gift she gave him, a perfect little boy. Torn, Dave headed home to shower and plan what next.
The funeral was big. Almost everyone Lauren came in contact with adored her sweet nature, beauty and kind heart. Dave's mother, a widow,decided she would be of more use caring for her son and newborn grandson than staying in her own house so she moved in with them. Dave adored his little boy. When he got off work he would spend hours playing with him and holding and enjoying his baby boy. But came night and time to retire to bed..he stared at the empty bed and the guilt engulfed him. He started keeping a bottle whiskey in his room..swallowing big gulps directly from the bottle.
Grabbing his keys to the bar...one double after the other on the rocks.
Day in and day out, the liquor became his comfort, erasing the guilt. Helping him numb emotions. But as too much of anything does, it also started influencing his daily life. He started showing up late for work or not showing up at all because the hangover would let him pass out till way past noon. He got numerous warnings from his mom, his boss, his friends, until finally he was fired.
Now added to his misery, failure, added guilt, financial strain wss to name but a few that made Dave rely even heavier on his whiskey. At this point Joshua was 4 years old, Dave could not face his son anymore, he felt ashamed, he started avoiding his little boy completely. Joshua loving his daddy so much was confused, he became difficult and moody, not understanding and thinking his daddy stopped loving him.
Dave's mother stepped in. She took Joshua and moved back to her house. Insisting that Dave sort out his life before he contacts them again because he has hurt his little boy enough. He watched her drive away with his little boy. Dave felt empty, dead inside, but he didn't say anything or try to stop her. He just stood there. Turning on his heel, to his room, the bottle whiskey has now become 3 bottles hidden in his closet, he finished all 3 that night. Blackout drunk and passed out on his bed.
Dave woke up that next morning in the empty house. Realising...Joshua is 5 years old today. He let his little boy go with his mother one day before his 5th birthday, his little boy that believed his daddy doesn't love him anymore, his daddy threw him away. Dave started weeping, sorrow filled his entire body, disgusted at himself looking at his vomit and urine drenched clothes, wondering how he could allow this to go so far. He grabbed his cellphone and dialed his mother's number..
"Mom,before you say anything",he started when she answered" Mom, I am so sorry, Mom I love and appreciated everything you have done so far for me and Joshua, I realise, I need help Mom"..his voice broke as he cried. Dave's mother weeped hearing her son so broken and genuinely remorsefull of his actions. She said with pain and tears in her voice" Son, I forgive you, now shower and shave and come wish your little boy a happy birthday again. He still loves you. He will accept you in a heartbeat. That is the wonder of a childs innocence. He won't remember the bad only the good my boy".
Dave hung up the phone, his heart lighter, he took a shower, shaved, looked in a long time like the man he used to be. Making an appointment with a therapist and searching for the closest AA meetings for his alcohol problem. Dave was for the first time in 6 years, motivated, excited, almost happy again, ready to face the world. One more stop at the toy store before heading to his mom's house. A birthday present for Joshua. His gorgeous little boy. He decided on a huge stuffed bear and a big red fire truck. In his minds eye seeing his little boys laugh of excitement about the presents and having his daddy back.
Dave's excitement grew as he started the drive to his mom's house that was two towns away from his own. The breathtaking nature he was surrounded with, mountains, driving faster, he didn't notice he was driving and speeding through the most dangerous ravine with extremely steep sides. The narrow gorge was completely unnoted by Dave that was a million miles away in thought, planning on how he would straighten out his life, make up to his son for pushing him away making him feel unloved and unwanted...Dave looked up too late...in the middle of the narrow gorge road stood a deer..he stepped on the brakes..realising he was speeding, going too fast...nothing. He also neglected to take his car to get the faulty brakes fixed always putting it off with excuses and now...now the brakes hav failed...he can't slow down or stop..Dave knew...this was it...he is paying for 6 years of being a dreadful husband, father and son.
He swerved and then..For a timeless moment, he was suspended within the confines of his car. Then gravity took over with a force that sent the vehicle hurtling down the face of the ravine.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." His broken apology flew down with the blood spewing from his lips... crash after crash as the car hit the ground for a moment before tumbling further down to the bottom of the ravine...Dave mumbled.."I'm sorry,I'm sorry"...until he was completely deformed, every bone in his body crushed, every organ smashed and no longer working, no heartbeat, nothing, just a lifeless bloody corpse at the bottom of the ravine in a wreck that was once a car. It was over....
© Lolla Smith
