I just opened this to pour out all the uneasiness in my head but now I am just running out of word to express my fillings.
Maybe I will just start form the very beginning …. Days where he was so exited to talk to me, days where he used spend time with me, days he treated me like a kid, days he cared for me, days where he had a lot to say, days when he was so interested to listen what I say ………
But now things just have changed it out to days where I beg him to talk, seek his attention , plead him to listen to me, request him to meet me yet nowhere to see… loosing all self-respect like I have never done before , just to save this relation .
I am so aware that I am just loosing my self-respect over and over again but I am willing to do so because …….
I am trying so hard not to complain but at last end up complaining like a small kid…
And end up with all the faults on my head and saying sorry…
I fell so void, right now I fell tired of trying so hard maybe so hard that made me fell useless, made me feel that I should have stayed still doing nothing and lets the things go along the flow…
I wonder have he ever missed me the way I did ?
I wonder have he ever longed to see me the way I did?
I wonder have he ever wanted to speak to me the way I always did?
The worse thing is that I know the answers to these questions ….
Isn't it funny how people just change so quickly ? I wish I could always change like he did , I wish I could also walk unbothered like he did , I wish I never knew him…

#life #dairywriting
© daisy