Ok so I haven't written a journal entry In a while but after last night, I think I should take up my soul again and just bleed it out.
I had a panic attack last night.
man, it was so horrible, couldn't breathe, getting dizzy, headaches, nausea...
I'm am overthinker by nature and I've been seriously stressing for years, like no break.
thank The almighty for my bestie.
I always try to distract myself from my stress but last night I just couldn't.
I was talking with a friend to try and distract myself, bless them for trying to help me but in the end my bestie was who I had to call, she just KNEW.

Between childhood trauma's, unemployment, depression, she just gets it.

I know I can't control all things, I just wanna control a few things, is that bad?

my life has been making the survival mode choices based off other people's choices that have negatively affected my life.

I don't know, I just know I'm tired all the time.

I was told writing helps, so I guess some new, poems will be on my feed soon.

so pardon the intrusion, I can't afford therapy, so this will have to do.
© C.Wynter