Yours, Future Me
Dear Past Me,

I'm writing to you from a place you might not yet recognize, filled with gray skies and blustery winds. I know right now, life seems like the top of a roller coaster. Exciting yet terrifying, the calm before the steep drop.

I won't sugarcoat it - it's about to get difficult. Cracks will appear in your world, slowly progressing into fractures that might seem too massive to mend. The dreams you have will sometimes feel like they are receding, sinking like a ship you simply can't save. You’ll find yourself tumbling down a well of introspection, a well so deep you may feel you've lost sight of the way out.

Days will seem longer, the nights even more so. Mealtimes will go by unnoticed, conversations will feel like noisy chatter that you can't tune into, let alone respond to. You’ll encounter a sense of isolation, as your world shrinks to what feels like just you and your thoughts, locked in an uncomfortable dance. The worlds outside will seem both distant and intimidating.

Seemingly simple human interactions will overwhelm you and the clamor of social activity will feel more akin to a whirlwind than a mere breeze. The sea of faces will be a paradoxical combination of alien and yet too familiar—invoking a sense of loneliness even amidst a crowd. It will feel as if you're orbiting a world where you feel like you don't belong.

The scariest bit may be the feeling that those closest to you, those who brought you into the world and nurtured you, seem to no longer understand the path you're meandering down. You may feel isolated from your parents in an emotional landscape that is foreign to them.

This all sounds very frightening, and it might scare you, but know that you're not alone. Countless others walk this path, hidden away beneath the smile, the laughter, and the facade of strength. But remember, your experience, though painful now, carries with it lessons that can make you stronger, more compassionate, and more understanding.

Your world may seem dusky now, but remember, even in the darkest night, stars still shine. Hold onto that. You're stronger than you think. Just be careful and don't relapse because cutting was always your way to cope.

Future Me.
© jMaj161914