I suffered from ADHD.
You don't have any idea,
how it frustrates me to no end.
When I can't focus no matter
how much I force myself to.

But at that time, until now
it leaves me speechless.

I'm having a mental breakdown,
Wallowing in my self pity,
the usual scene in my life.
But my routine got interrupted
when I heard a laugh that will
turn out to be my favourite melody.

I frantically look around
Hoping to find the source.
Then I saw her, laughing at something her friends, I don't know..joke?

My mind zones in at her.
Fills with nothing but her.
I find her charming and I don't know why that word suddenly pop into my mind when I took a glimpse at her.

Maybe it's her cheeks that shows a pair of dimples whenever she smiles,
or the way she claps whenever she
found something funny, or maybe, it's the way she leans slightly forward
whenever she's laughing.

As I admire her from afar.
I felt like I suffered no illness.
Like I'm normal like everybody else. Whenever she's around I found
the task of focusing all my attention
to her, quite easy.

I don't have the urge to look away.
More like, I don't want to look at something else.

As I recalled this memory. It still leave me speechless.

'Just wow, I don't know...
How, Why or if some god help me
but I got the girl.' I mumbled to myself.

"Penny for your thoughts, hubby?"
She said as she lays her head on my chest.

"Just recalling the memory I first set my sight on you." I responded as I spoon her body closer to mine. I guess, I'm the big spoon tonight.

She giggles and trace some invisible patterns upon my chest.

"Can you tell me about it again? I don't know. No matter how many times you tell me that story. It just amazed me how can you find me....charming? Yes, I think that's how you word it. When I literally wear a freaking sweatpants and wear no makeup that time." She laughs breathly, tears forming in her eyes when she remembers that day.

The day that she was at the darkest place that any depress person who also suffered PTSD, could ever be in.

That time she had come to decision to end her life. So, she calls her friends who she pushed away for a very long time. To bond for the last time. Of course, they didn't know that.

My mama told me that I'm too brave that it got to the point it's just plain stupidity. Saying it'll be the cause of my death someday. But at that time when I realized the effects she had on me. I have gathered all the courage I could have at that time, because my seemingly filled to the brim bravery, was drained when I thought of just coming up to talk to her.

But I'm grateful I did, because if I decided to just brush my admiration off. I wouldn't have her in my arms. We wouldn't be able to get together, and have the happiest moments of our lives. At that time, I thank my 'stupidly courageous self' for not only saving her but also enabling us to have these moments.

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Oh gosh, that's so horrible. There's so many errors like grammar, spelling etcetera it's all packed in one!

(ノ｀Д´)ノ彡┻━┻ wtf Lol.

I apologize for those whoever read this story before. Kudos to y'all who put up with this trash cause if I were you I would just throw it aside Lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

© Bashful