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screaming silence
They say things get better with time. we grow, we meet people,we deal with problems,we find love and everything gets better.
But what happens when a girl find herself caught up in her own thoughts.
what's reality and what's fantasy.
what happens when she falls for a shadow
And what happens when she comes to face the one thing she's afraid to see.
Mind games
pain
happiness
love
These are things you can't prevent.
Chapter One
Looking at their faces,He could read them very well.Some were bored, others were paying attention,few were using their cell phones even though they knew it's not allowed."Teenagers are quite rebellious"He thought to himself. To them He was teaching but they didn't know the man standing in front of them in the classroom was reading their facial expressions.His face settled on a person who's facial expression was difficult to read.She wasn't bored,she wasn't happy neither was she sad. Sitting there in a blue dress, fair skin, long hair and what He thought was a brown eyes,was a girl probably nineteen years old who was staring at the teacher with a blank expression."interesting"He thought.As if He knew the pupils has noticed his sudden silence,He resumed teaching. Through out the class,he couldn't stop herself from staring at the person who seems like a puzzle."isn't she called Kelly "He asked himself in silence.She invaded his thought during the whole class. Even when they asked him questions,even when he was answering and when the whole class laughed about something funny,He was still thinking about her and stealing glances at her.
It was funny when it wasn't because of her beauty. He has seen many beautiful girls than her. He kept thinking of her because of her facial expression.It was easy to read his students but this girl,whom he has taught for months is making him question his ability to read people.He forced her out from his thoughts, at least for now, to concentrate on his teaching.The thought of him thinking about that face after the class and even the day was both funny and scarry to him.
"You mean the girl laughing so hard", Peter asked his friend.He couldn't understand why a girl could laugh out loud in a school cafeteria.James was also looking at girl from where they were standing.This girl who had given him that wierd expression in the classroom is now laughing and talking with her friend while eating her launch.He still remember how She walked out immediately the class ended.
During break,He normally come to the school cafeteria with his friend Peter to buy their launch.He wasn't surprised to see that blue dress brown eyed girl there but seeing her laugh so hard wasn't expected.He asked the one thing he has been dying to ask."What's her name".Peter didn't who his friend was talking about but after looking at who his friend was staring at,he asked his friend if he meant the girl laughing so hard."Her name is Kathleen Gomez, 18 years old, lives with her parents in California". James wondered why his friend knew so much about her.As if Peter saw the questioning look on his friend's face,"Come on James, I have been a teacher in this school for almost two years so it's no surprise I know her name".Peter said jokingly and left to buy his launch.
'Kathleen', James thought about her name clearly amused that he thought she was called Kelly.
From where he was standing,he saw Kathleen suddenly changed from happy laughing girl to the same girl in the classroom.Her face was blank and empty. Her expression changed when her friend stood, kissed her cheeks and left her.
She looked numb during classes,she was happily laughing so hard with her friend and now, She looked blank."Just who is this girl" James thought aloud.The girl stood up, gathered her things,put them in her bag and left from the cafeteria.
Chapter two
"Close your eyes". The girl instantly obeyed. "Where do you want us to go". "I want us to go to the beach",she replied. "Do you want us to walk or take the bus". "No, I want us to take my Dad's car". "Okay, let's go, The phycologist said. Both clearly knew where this session was heading to. Kath came to the hospital two years ago. The sixteen years old looked moody back then. She looked like she didn't want to be there but had to because she didn't have any choice.The doctor still remember her face when she cried. That girl really needed to be there. She was choosing her words during their first session. The doctor knew patient like her. You will think she was okay physically but deep down,she was breaking inside. She wasn't surprised she diagnosed Kath with multiple mental disorders. Depression, anxiety and borderline personality.
Both females eyes closed,the doctor asked,"what do you see". "I see big tree and tall houses", Kath simply said. "Where are we going",The doctor slowly said. "To the beach",Kath answered.
The doctor opened her eyes and saw how calmed the girl looked sitting in that sofa in this quiet room. Her head of the sofa smiling quietly and answering her questions. "This girl is beautiful" ,The phycologist thought. She can't believe she tried to kill herself twice. She broke her mom's car glasses once. Kathleen has so many things going on in that brain of hers. She chose her words carefully and asked," Who is the first person you want to see when we get down from this car". She saw how tensed the question made her. "My dad",Kath said sadly. The phycologist finally understood why Kathleen came to meet her today when she was supposed to be there tommorow.
Someone reminded her of that man today. "
Kath we are here, there's so many people here.",The doctor said. Kath didn't say anything. The thoughts came again. Random incidents were running through her mind."let's get down", Kath said to the doctor afraid of the thoughts in her mind. " Do you see him",The doctor asked watching Kath reaction."Yeah, I see him and we are playing on the beach, Mom's here also, Damien and Jaden too. We are all playing on this beach",Kath said smiling happily. The phycologist was satisfied with the girl expression.
Her happiness can last the whole day. That emptiness is not coming any moment soon. She hated to break the girl imagination journey but what can she do, Kath has to face reality. "Open your eyes" The girl opened her eyes after the doctor said that.For a moment she thought everything was real, driving in her Dad's car, meeting her whole family at the beach. But reality is reality, She reminded herself. Sitting on a sofa in a quiet room with woman whose face she knows so well is the reality. The happiness she feel now is also real thanks to the woman sitting beside her. The doctor wanted to cry but didn't because she knew Kath won't like it. This girl don't believe people genuinely care about her but she really need to do something for her now.
Kath almost cried when the doctor hugged her gently. This woman really understand her.
Chapter three
"Dad is me Kathy,call me when you get back.I love you",The girl said at the other line. Five times in a day,she has tried to call her father. Five times a day the man has ignored her calls. His daughter said she love him. How many years has it been since he left them? How many of her school parents meeting has he missed? Is my girl even in love with somebody? what's her favorite color? He knew he couldn't answer all this questions.
It's been twelve years since he left. "Does my daughter even meant what she said",he couldn't believe Kathy still loves him.
There was this voice telling him to call her daughter, telling him to go meet her and hug her and do whatever father's do but, the voice was so small it couldn't change his hardened heart. This is the life he has chosen, not even a naive girl like her daughter can change him. he dropped his phone on that small bed, took his car keys and left that small apartment to meet someone.
Meanwhile, a girl was sitting on the toilet seat sobbing. That emptiness, that heartache and that feeling of worthlessness. Kath knew these too well. She came to this washroom during classes hours to call the one person she really wants to see. That was the fifth time but he didn't answer. She knew her father was there. This wasn't the first time. "Do you think you are that important", the voice said harshly. " Its high time you know you are not worthy Kath,You could disappear and no one will even notice." Her thoughts said to her, plain and rudely. She couldn't anymore. The sobbing became crying,she was really hurting.It came again,the urge to destroy something.what? phone? no it's expensive.She took her mirror and smashed it. yet she couldn't smash her tears,the pain she feels and those thoughts.She wanted to but she couldn't. She was scared now, because she knew what was coming.
He was passing by the students washroom when he heard something being smashed on the floor.As a teacher ,he wanted to be sure if everything was okay. He knew where the noise came from.From the washroom so he entered. "Male or female ",he was deciding when he heard someone crying. more like a girl crying.
He walked slowly towards the crying voice and was about to knock.
"Where did Kathleen said she was going to?" Jennifer asked herself and answered herself."to the washroom.Its almost thirty minutes and she isn't back."Excuse me Mr Mason",the teacher stopped teaching after the girl said that."can I go to the washroom",Jenny asked and left after the teacher gave her a nod."I hope Kath wasn't lying to me about going to the washroom".
Someone was about to cut her wrist, someone was also looking for her friend and a teacher was about to knock a door and find out why the the girl was crying.
All these happening in the same time. "Kath are you in the there" Jennifer said in a loud voice. Cutting the wrist didn't happen, knocking on the door didn't happen but looking for a friend did. Fear. Fear of being caught in a ladies washroom and fear of being seen dead by your best friend. The teacher hid himself somewhere and the girl put the knife back and wiped her tears instantly.The phycologist words rung in her mind,"Killing yourself isn't the answer Kath".
She stood up and went to meet her friend."Kathleen what were you doing in that that toilet room", Jennifer said relief that her friend was okay. "make up" ,Kath said in a cheerful tone. Jennifer didn't ask anything again but deep down she knew Kathleen was lying.
Two girls left the washroom not knowing their English teacher was hiding in the room. " Makeup ",James recalled Kath words. How she cried breaks his heart. It stirred up something inside him. He heard her pain,he wants to take that pain away. But that isn't his place to do that. He's just a teacher. "She lives with both her parents, can't they help her",he thought. And besides, he's seven years older than her. That made him sad when he knew he really want to help her because he is falling for her. She has been on his mind since he saw her with that expression. It's almost a month yet he couldn't stop himself from thinking about her. The girl hasn't talk to him before. He was desperate enough to even ask her to answer a question during his class. The girl was in deep thoughts so the question surprised her.He wanted to laugh at how cute and innocent she was at that time.He is slowly falling for a girl. His student.
But what happens when a girl find herself caught up in her own thoughts.
what's reality and what's fantasy.
what happens when she falls for a shadow
And what happens when she comes to face the one thing she's afraid to see.
Mind games
pain
happiness
love
These are things you can't prevent.
Chapter One
Looking at their faces,He could read them very well.Some were bored, others were paying attention,few were using their cell phones even though they knew it's not allowed."Teenagers are quite rebellious"He thought to himself. To them He was teaching but they didn't know the man standing in front of them in the classroom was reading their facial expressions.His face settled on a person who's facial expression was difficult to read.She wasn't bored,she wasn't happy neither was she sad. Sitting there in a blue dress, fair skin, long hair and what He thought was a brown eyes,was a girl probably nineteen years old who was staring at the teacher with a blank expression."interesting"He thought.As if He knew the pupils has noticed his sudden silence,He resumed teaching. Through out the class,he couldn't stop herself from staring at the person who seems like a puzzle."isn't she called Kelly "He asked himself in silence.She invaded his thought during the whole class. Even when they asked him questions,even when he was answering and when the whole class laughed about something funny,He was still thinking about her and stealing glances at her.
It was funny when it wasn't because of her beauty. He has seen many beautiful girls than her. He kept thinking of her because of her facial expression.It was easy to read his students but this girl,whom he has taught for months is making him question his ability to read people.He forced her out from his thoughts, at least for now, to concentrate on his teaching.The thought of him thinking about that face after the class and even the day was both funny and scarry to him.
"You mean the girl laughing so hard", Peter asked his friend.He couldn't understand why a girl could laugh out loud in a school cafeteria.James was also looking at girl from where they were standing.This girl who had given him that wierd expression in the classroom is now laughing and talking with her friend while eating her launch.He still remember how She walked out immediately the class ended.
During break,He normally come to the school cafeteria with his friend Peter to buy their launch.He wasn't surprised to see that blue dress brown eyed girl there but seeing her laugh so hard wasn't expected.He asked the one thing he has been dying to ask."What's her name".Peter didn't who his friend was talking about but after looking at who his friend was staring at,he asked his friend if he meant the girl laughing so hard."Her name is Kathleen Gomez, 18 years old, lives with her parents in California". James wondered why his friend knew so much about her.As if Peter saw the questioning look on his friend's face,"Come on James, I have been a teacher in this school for almost two years so it's no surprise I know her name".Peter said jokingly and left to buy his launch.
'Kathleen', James thought about her name clearly amused that he thought she was called Kelly.
From where he was standing,he saw Kathleen suddenly changed from happy laughing girl to the same girl in the classroom.Her face was blank and empty. Her expression changed when her friend stood, kissed her cheeks and left her.
She looked numb during classes,she was happily laughing so hard with her friend and now, She looked blank."Just who is this girl" James thought aloud.The girl stood up, gathered her things,put them in her bag and left from the cafeteria.
Chapter two
"Close your eyes". The girl instantly obeyed. "Where do you want us to go". "I want us to go to the beach",she replied. "Do you want us to walk or take the bus". "No, I want us to take my Dad's car". "Okay, let's go, The phycologist said. Both clearly knew where this session was heading to. Kath came to the hospital two years ago. The sixteen years old looked moody back then. She looked like she didn't want to be there but had to because she didn't have any choice.The doctor still remember her face when she cried. That girl really needed to be there. She was choosing her words during their first session. The doctor knew patient like her. You will think she was okay physically but deep down,she was breaking inside. She wasn't surprised she diagnosed Kath with multiple mental disorders. Depression, anxiety and borderline personality.
Both females eyes closed,the doctor asked,"what do you see". "I see big tree and tall houses", Kath simply said. "Where are we going",The doctor slowly said. "To the beach",Kath answered.
The doctor opened her eyes and saw how calmed the girl looked sitting in that sofa in this quiet room. Her head of the sofa smiling quietly and answering her questions. "This girl is beautiful" ,The phycologist thought. She can't believe she tried to kill herself twice. She broke her mom's car glasses once. Kathleen has so many things going on in that brain of hers. She chose her words carefully and asked," Who is the first person you want to see when we get down from this car". She saw how tensed the question made her. "My dad",Kath said sadly. The phycologist finally understood why Kathleen came to meet her today when she was supposed to be there tommorow.
Someone reminded her of that man today. "
Kath we are here, there's so many people here.",The doctor said. Kath didn't say anything. The thoughts came again. Random incidents were running through her mind."let's get down", Kath said to the doctor afraid of the thoughts in her mind. " Do you see him",The doctor asked watching Kath reaction."Yeah, I see him and we are playing on the beach, Mom's here also, Damien and Jaden too. We are all playing on this beach",Kath said smiling happily. The phycologist was satisfied with the girl expression.
Her happiness can last the whole day. That emptiness is not coming any moment soon. She hated to break the girl imagination journey but what can she do, Kath has to face reality. "Open your eyes" The girl opened her eyes after the doctor said that.For a moment she thought everything was real, driving in her Dad's car, meeting her whole family at the beach. But reality is reality, She reminded herself. Sitting on a sofa in a quiet room with woman whose face she knows so well is the reality. The happiness she feel now is also real thanks to the woman sitting beside her. The doctor wanted to cry but didn't because she knew Kath won't like it. This girl don't believe people genuinely care about her but she really need to do something for her now.
Kath almost cried when the doctor hugged her gently. This woman really understand her.
Chapter three
"Dad is me Kathy,call me when you get back.I love you",The girl said at the other line. Five times in a day,she has tried to call her father. Five times a day the man has ignored her calls. His daughter said she love him. How many years has it been since he left them? How many of her school parents meeting has he missed? Is my girl even in love with somebody? what's her favorite color? He knew he couldn't answer all this questions.
It's been twelve years since he left. "Does my daughter even meant what she said",he couldn't believe Kathy still loves him.
There was this voice telling him to call her daughter, telling him to go meet her and hug her and do whatever father's do but, the voice was so small it couldn't change his hardened heart. This is the life he has chosen, not even a naive girl like her daughter can change him. he dropped his phone on that small bed, took his car keys and left that small apartment to meet someone.
Meanwhile, a girl was sitting on the toilet seat sobbing. That emptiness, that heartache and that feeling of worthlessness. Kath knew these too well. She came to this washroom during classes hours to call the one person she really wants to see. That was the fifth time but he didn't answer. She knew her father was there. This wasn't the first time. "Do you think you are that important", the voice said harshly. " Its high time you know you are not worthy Kath,You could disappear and no one will even notice." Her thoughts said to her, plain and rudely. She couldn't anymore. The sobbing became crying,she was really hurting.It came again,the urge to destroy something.what? phone? no it's expensive.She took her mirror and smashed it. yet she couldn't smash her tears,the pain she feels and those thoughts.She wanted to but she couldn't. She was scared now, because she knew what was coming.
He was passing by the students washroom when he heard something being smashed on the floor.As a teacher ,he wanted to be sure if everything was okay. He knew where the noise came from.From the washroom so he entered. "Male or female ",he was deciding when he heard someone crying. more like a girl crying.
He walked slowly towards the crying voice and was about to knock.
"Where did Kathleen said she was going to?" Jennifer asked herself and answered herself."to the washroom.Its almost thirty minutes and she isn't back."Excuse me Mr Mason",the teacher stopped teaching after the girl said that."can I go to the washroom",Jenny asked and left after the teacher gave her a nod."I hope Kath wasn't lying to me about going to the washroom".
Someone was about to cut her wrist, someone was also looking for her friend and a teacher was about to knock a door and find out why the the girl was crying.
All these happening in the same time. "Kath are you in the there" Jennifer said in a loud voice. Cutting the wrist didn't happen, knocking on the door didn't happen but looking for a friend did. Fear. Fear of being caught in a ladies washroom and fear of being seen dead by your best friend. The teacher hid himself somewhere and the girl put the knife back and wiped her tears instantly.The phycologist words rung in her mind,"Killing yourself isn't the answer Kath".
She stood up and went to meet her friend."Kathleen what were you doing in that that toilet room", Jennifer said relief that her friend was okay. "make up" ,Kath said in a cheerful tone. Jennifer didn't ask anything again but deep down she knew Kathleen was lying.
Two girls left the washroom not knowing their English teacher was hiding in the room. " Makeup ",James recalled Kath words. How she cried breaks his heart. It stirred up something inside him. He heard her pain,he wants to take that pain away. But that isn't his place to do that. He's just a teacher. "She lives with both her parents, can't they help her",he thought. And besides, he's seven years older than her. That made him sad when he knew he really want to help her because he is falling for her. She has been on his mind since he saw her with that expression. It's almost a month yet he couldn't stop himself from thinking about her. The girl hasn't talk to him before. He was desperate enough to even ask her to answer a question during his class. The girl was in deep thoughts so the question surprised her.He wanted to laugh at how cute and innocent she was at that time.He is slowly falling for a girl. His student.
