Today, everything seems to be acting fast and everyone seems to be running away from me. And those who promised to help me keeps blaming me as if they were not the first people I talked to when I wanted to follow that pace, as if they ever supported or advised me like an adult to a child. Now that everything has happened, I became a disturbance to them, people stops taking my calls, family keeps pushing blames. Just a few hours from now I tasted a blood on my tongue probably from my lungs up to my throat. wishing to die and leave this wicked world, maybe then they'll see my worth, that's if I actually worth anything to them.

Sometimes I prayed and wishes that my own father will just like me a bit and care for me like every supportive fathers out there. I know that I didn't create myself, and I believe that God created me for a purpose. Though I'm down now, my strength has failed me, my beliefs and faith seems to be weakling.

I know things are not happening the way I always wanted or planned it, it now seems as if I am being dependent on those I said I will never depend on. Sometimes I imagined how life would have been assuming my grandfather was alive, perhaps things would have been different.
God knows the best. And I solemnly believe that with God, my heavenly father by my side, everything will be fine soon.
© Amicable