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The Girl Behind Bars
Christie sat by herself in the corner of the prison cell. She had been handed a twenty year sentence for the murder of her boyfriend Charlie. Three weeks had passed since the judge gave her a verdict, but she recalled every detail as if it had happened yesterday. Her mind kept jumping back to the events of the day when she is said to have committed the crime. "How could I have murdered Charlie?,,,I loved him!" She mumbled to herself, tears running down her cheeks.
The other inmates were afraid of her. Murderers were often secluded by others for they deemed them to be the worst of the lot. She had made only one friend since arriving at Recon Prison, Marie. Marie was also convicted for the death of her husband. They said she was responsible for poisoning her husband, John. The two were always isolated by the others and this led them to each other. At least they had a connection, they were both in for murder. They rarely had enough time to speak since they were given a one hour break from their cells. Marie was the talkative one and she would take up most of the time during their meet ups. She however struggled to get Christie to narrate the events of the day that led her there.
Christie spent most of the time in her cell trying to piece together the events of that fateful day, with the hope that she would establish the motive of her actions. She would force herself to recall that day, for this was to her the most painful memory. She had just killed the only person who loved her and cared for her. She had no parents, brothers nor sisters. Each time she recalled that day, memories of it would bring back the darker days of her childhood. "There must be a connection!" She would say to herself.
This went on for weeks. She would recall how she stood in the courtroom unable to answer the allegations brought against her. There was enough evidence to incriminate her. She was found clinging to the body of Charlie, her clothes bearing his blood. She had called the police. Charlie was dead already. She had stabbed him ten times in the chest. The police took her away and collected enough evidence to put her behind bars. Her case was heard and it was easy for the judge to give her ruling as the evidence presented was enough to render the verdict and Christie was guilty as charged.
Three more weeks, and things were adding up. She could now understand the reason for her actions that day. After many sleepless nights and days spent trying to figure out why she killed Charlie, she had finally gotten the answer or so she thought. She decided to narrate to Marie the events of that day the next time they would meet during their break.
"Marie, there's something I wanna talk to you about..." She said after some greetings. Marie was surprised since Christie never spoke of things that bothered her. "I want to tell you why I'm here... On 14th January, my boyfriend Charlie took me out on a date. It was a beautiful day,,, some sunshine, beautiful clouds. We went for a walk in the park and later had lunch at Bobby's hotel. We later headed to the museum and in the evening Charlie invited me to stay at his place that night,,, I hesitated at first but he managed to convince me to head to his place." Christie narrated.
"That was the happiest day I ever had... We arrived at his place at 7 pm. We had some drinks, watched a movie and it was time to sleep. I had known Charlie for two months now though we had never slept together. This night was our chance...but I ruined it." She said with tears in her eyes. "As he got hold of me, it seems I got lost in memories of my childhood. Instead of enjoying the moment, it seemed I was reliving the day that my father molested me... He was a drunkard and would often beat up my mum,,,she passed on when I was six due to depression they said. One night after his drinking spree, he forced himself on me,,,and my life changed completely. I was no longer the innocent girl,,, he threatened to kill me if I spoke to anyone about it. I grew up traumatised and also developed a strong hatred for men... I thought they were all beasts. Father died when I was 17, he was found by the roadside. Seems he had much to drink that night and he didn't make it home..."
"So in that moment, I could visualise the events of that dark night when he forced himself on me. I couldn't see Charlie! I saw my dad! And me, a young 6 year old girl trembling in fear. But somehow I felt strong and thought I must fight back. Maybe Charlie took it lightly,,,all I recall is that I decided to fight to death to prevent myself from being defiled..." She said crying. "I came back to my senses when it was too late, Charlie was lying dead on the floor. I had stabbed him ten times. I tried to wake him up,,,I called the police and I was taken in..." Christie nareated tearfully.
"How could I explain before the courtroom that I was acting in self defence. That I had not healed from the events of earlier years. How could I make them understand that it was my father I was fighting and not Charlie. And I fought with all my might. I was carried away in the moment, trying to defend myself... What was to be a beautiful experience only brought back memories of a traumatised childhood! Who would believe me?? Because upto date I still feel like that six year old girl trapped in a 19 year old body. It's like I've never really outgrown the events of that day!" Said Christie. " And that is how I ended up behind bars "
"What happens in childhood, doesn't always stay in childhood"
#trauma #childhoodtrauma #mentalhealthawareness
© mwafrikampole
The other inmates were afraid of her. Murderers were often secluded by others for they deemed them to be the worst of the lot. She had made only one friend since arriving at Recon Prison, Marie. Marie was also convicted for the death of her husband. They said she was responsible for poisoning her husband, John. The two were always isolated by the others and this led them to each other. At least they had a connection, they were both in for murder. They rarely had enough time to speak since they were given a one hour break from their cells. Marie was the talkative one and she would take up most of the time during their meet ups. She however struggled to get Christie to narrate the events of the day that led her there.
Christie spent most of the time in her cell trying to piece together the events of that fateful day, with the hope that she would establish the motive of her actions. She would force herself to recall that day, for this was to her the most painful memory. She had just killed the only person who loved her and cared for her. She had no parents, brothers nor sisters. Each time she recalled that day, memories of it would bring back the darker days of her childhood. "There must be a connection!" She would say to herself.
This went on for weeks. She would recall how she stood in the courtroom unable to answer the allegations brought against her. There was enough evidence to incriminate her. She was found clinging to the body of Charlie, her clothes bearing his blood. She had called the police. Charlie was dead already. She had stabbed him ten times in the chest. The police took her away and collected enough evidence to put her behind bars. Her case was heard and it was easy for the judge to give her ruling as the evidence presented was enough to render the verdict and Christie was guilty as charged.
Three more weeks, and things were adding up. She could now understand the reason for her actions that day. After many sleepless nights and days spent trying to figure out why she killed Charlie, she had finally gotten the answer or so she thought. She decided to narrate to Marie the events of that day the next time they would meet during their break.
"Marie, there's something I wanna talk to you about..." She said after some greetings. Marie was surprised since Christie never spoke of things that bothered her. "I want to tell you why I'm here... On 14th January, my boyfriend Charlie took me out on a date. It was a beautiful day,,, some sunshine, beautiful clouds. We went for a walk in the park and later had lunch at Bobby's hotel. We later headed to the museum and in the evening Charlie invited me to stay at his place that night,,, I hesitated at first but he managed to convince me to head to his place." Christie narrated.
"That was the happiest day I ever had... We arrived at his place at 7 pm. We had some drinks, watched a movie and it was time to sleep. I had known Charlie for two months now though we had never slept together. This night was our chance...but I ruined it." She said with tears in her eyes. "As he got hold of me, it seems I got lost in memories of my childhood. Instead of enjoying the moment, it seemed I was reliving the day that my father molested me... He was a drunkard and would often beat up my mum,,,she passed on when I was six due to depression they said. One night after his drinking spree, he forced himself on me,,,and my life changed completely. I was no longer the innocent girl,,, he threatened to kill me if I spoke to anyone about it. I grew up traumatised and also developed a strong hatred for men... I thought they were all beasts. Father died when I was 17, he was found by the roadside. Seems he had much to drink that night and he didn't make it home..."
"So in that moment, I could visualise the events of that dark night when he forced himself on me. I couldn't see Charlie! I saw my dad! And me, a young 6 year old girl trembling in fear. But somehow I felt strong and thought I must fight back. Maybe Charlie took it lightly,,,all I recall is that I decided to fight to death to prevent myself from being defiled..." She said crying. "I came back to my senses when it was too late, Charlie was lying dead on the floor. I had stabbed him ten times. I tried to wake him up,,,I called the police and I was taken in..." Christie nareated tearfully.
"How could I explain before the courtroom that I was acting in self defence. That I had not healed from the events of earlier years. How could I make them understand that it was my father I was fighting and not Charlie. And I fought with all my might. I was carried away in the moment, trying to defend myself... What was to be a beautiful experience only brought back memories of a traumatised childhood! Who would believe me?? Because upto date I still feel like that six year old girl trapped in a 19 year old body. It's like I've never really outgrown the events of that day!" Said Christie. " And that is how I ended up behind bars "
"What happens in childhood, doesn't always stay in childhood"
#trauma #childhoodtrauma #mentalhealthawareness
© mwafrikampole
