"It's not possible", he cried with disbelief. "She can't be pregnant."

I felt for him, he was the love of my life and now I was going to lose him to another woman who's pregnant with his child.

He couldn't face me and he walked out of the room. I held back no matter how badly I wanted to run to him and comfort him. It was not my place to do so anymore.

I walked to her, the woman pregnant for him, placed my hands on her shoulder and comfortingly told her, "I'll speak to him, I promise you won't deal with this alone."

She nodded in relief and I walked out of the hospital room to go look for my husband. Could I even call him that anymore?

It took a while for me to locate him, but I found him on one of the benches by the car park.
He was heartbroken, I could see the tears in his eyes even from where I stood and my heart ached for him.

I walked to him and hesitantly placed my hand on his shoulder, "listen, it will be okay", I began but could not finish my sentence as he turned to me and hugged my stomach holding on desperately as if he was holding on for dear life.

In that moment he broke down in tears and I couldn't hold mine back anymore as I cried with him.

Things had just started looking up for the both of us but now there was no future, not for the both of us anymore.

"I'm sorry", he cried against my stomach. I don't know what to say to you Leah, I never thought..." He couldn't form words as more tears ran down his face soaking up my gown.

I knew he never wanted this, matter of fact he doubted it till the very end, when we got the results. I held on to him tighter, running my hand through his dark hair. I may never get the chance to do that anymore and I would miss it.

"I love you", he whispered softly, I almost didn't hear him. My heart didn't know how to beat right again. I waited weeks for him to say those words to me but now it was too late.

I raked my hands through his hair one last time, feeling my heart beat, race a mile a minute. "I love you Dan, I have for a long time but I can't do this with you anymore. You need to step up and take responsibility for your child, I will take responsibility for my feelings."

I moved to walk away but he held on to me tighter, whispering, "I can't do this without you. I need you Leah, always have and always will. Please don't leave me now."

When he noticed I still struggled with him, he rose to his feet and hugged me completely. "I need you Leah, I swear I do. Please stay with me", he pleaded.

I never struggled to do anything like I struggled in that moment. I knew it was bound to be hell for me, but he was the man I was willing to fight my destiny for, so I could be with him.

"I'll stay", I replied softly and in that instant, he breathed out a sigh of relief while I took in a breath of weariness.

He would be my death.
© Amanah Saiis