Over the years, you would learn to grow a wall around you ,
So perfect, polished and poised ,
No matter how magnificent,
It would only be you inside those bricks and bones,
All that you've ever loved would be on the other side
You would tell yourself that it's the only way you could be safe
It's the only way you could keep them safe
And your sheer stubbornness to admit it's a lie would be the very straw holding it together

So slick , shiny and shimmering
No matter how glamorous
It would only hide you ; it could never protect you , not even from yourself
And you would later wonder why it still hurts
Then , discover your wounds haven't scabbed
The thorns on the innerside of your immaculate fortress had only stuck into the flesh where it had been bleeding ,
temporarily arresting the flood of gore and carnage ,

But you would deny, it's all in the past ,
it's been patched up
Please , it's not even pitiful , it's pathetic

If you were cunning and curious enough,
You would have left a sliver of opening ,a very slim one
Through which muddleheaded and murky eyed ,
You will see what I saw
The vast world and it's colours ,
Your former lovers now in love with others
You will so desperately try to break out ,
Cry your heart out full of yearning ,
For a chance to aleast touch it once
But no ,
Each time you try
Every movement will reopen a wound ,
And the very crimson would cloud over
What little you have left to gawk at

Don't worry darling,
You would still be hidden well within walls
Taking your grief to your grave as keepsake


For those who haven't built those walls yet , or in the painful process of building it
Drop your hoes and chisels and trowels ,
You can't build a coffin and call it home
It would only be a graveyard full of bones
If you haven't been told yet ,
I am telling you now ,
For some of us this pain is the very rite of passage
You'd distressed whenever you see most of them have a permit pass
And distraught in pure agony and seething rage
Just why oh why , why me , why not me
I am despondently pondering too
And I'll be sure to tell you if I find the reason why

© myrottenpoetry_13