You know you feel old when you think about comfort first rather than fashion.

When wearing heels no longer appeals to you cause you wouldn't have to worry about your aching feet when the day is done.

It never really appeals to you anyway. It just so happen that you feel like you look dignified and confident wearing those killer shoes. And oh. Few inches taller. Because you're always insecure about your height.

When you would rather spend your time filling those carts with your week's grocery rather than doing shopping.

Because you make much more sense than the latest trends today.

And that my dear, is saying a lot.

But sometimes when you look at the younger teens passing by it makes you wonder how would you look wearing those off-shoulder and short shorts? Oh. And may you add flowery prints?

Erase mental image.

And in your mind you said, I'm contented wearing these black tees and my worn out jeans, thank you very much. But you think you've gotta buy a new one for it seems like few weeks from now and it won't fit anymore.

And that is the time you almost miss your jogging buddy-almost-cause you erased the idea as soon as the thought surfaced.
And you told yourself you can run alone who needs a buddy anyway. But then again that wasn't just someone-that was also a friend.

But then you told yourself, what's done is done. No looking back. Just moving forward.

When you no longer had an OCD over songs and music.

When you say OCD you mean there's no feeling of being left out if you have no idea of the hottest songs today.

Gone were the days when you can't sleep until you hear this new song on radio or without knowing the title and yes the lyrics. Because memorizing it is a must. And you gotta do it fast.

And it brought smile on your lips when you think about how lucky this generation is. They would just type in the title and voila, the song's lyrics is available.

Not in your time when internet is not that "important" unlike today and you would just rely on your "listening skill" only to find out a little later that you'd been singing the wrong lyrics all this time.

When loud and rock is not your lullaby anymore.

When sleep is much more precious to you and you grab every opportunity you can get because sleeping soundly seems so hard to do.

Not when you think about how to make both ends meet.

Of how these bills piling up and looks taller than you.

Not when you worry if you'd beat the deadline of your reports.

When you'd rather choose cramming on exam than cramming over presentation.

When the simple thing like meeting up with friends is harder than you thought ,most often than not you would wonder why it is so hard to be with the people you love? If you love someone you gotta make time right?

Reasons. Reasons. Priorities. Adult thing.

When you’d rather spend time with your pets rather than be with people with two faces.

At least you know your pets won’t stab you in your back. They’d just bite or in your case claw you. And you wonder if that pet of yours is really your pet. Or is it the other way around.

When wearing make-up no longer makes you want to look pretty (or just the thought of it) but to conceal.

Hide that dark circles around your eyes for spending the night wide awake just because you’re too afraid to sleep for some stupid reason like nightmare. It’s such a mystery that you know you’re used to it and why you would be bothered by it now.

And wearing that red-as-a-sin lipstick isn’t about luring someone (thinking about it feels like a private joke between you and yourself) but to distract.

And when you say distract you mean they would automatically stare at your lips rather than your eyes.

Keeping eye contact is rather hard for you these days.

When the simple “How are you” and “Are you okay” silently bringing tears in your eyes. But you gotta fight the tears from falling and secretly forcing yourself to smile. Smile though you're aching inside.
What a torture.

And when you thought about it. You know you'd ten times choose those time when the only hurting is your scraped knees.
At least it'll heal eventually. Not now you gotta deal with back pains and aching heart due to sadness you can't just shake.

When home is your safe place and the world is your playground.

Who would have thought both could be a cell by fate or sometimes sadly, by choice.

When the only war you knew was the one you played with your siblings and playmates. You'd gladly be hit by a watergun on your face than deal with war inside your head.

And you wonder if playing is just for kids and their toys then why do people love to play with others' feelings?

When things are so simple and happiness is just around the corner.

If this is what growing old feels like then you gotta understand why Peter never wants to grow up.

But then you would never understand why he friend zoned that pixie so you decided not to feel sorry over Peter.

When reading fairy tales and love stories no longer bring "aww feeling" but rather a "really?!"

Like how you'd think how stupid is this Romeo and Juliet and what are they thinking? Really? Potion? Killing themselves?

And it makes you wonder did you turn cynic or you're just being realistic.

Or maybe you just grow up and these
thoughts are just normal?

Or maybe you're just tired and wants the real deal.

Real happiness. Contentment. Just the basic. Nothing grand and extraordinary.

And it makes you ask yourself:
Why is it so hard to achieve?

But then you shrugged and tell yourself:
Stand up. You've got work to do.

And so..the cycle. Goes on and on.

© euphemia

#adultslife #adulting #grownup #writers #writco #writcoapp #Writing #prose #story