Recently, I purchased a game for Super Nintendo from my youth titled, "tmnt 4: turtles in time." My childhood best friend
Mike and I, at one time, as he said were a "well oiled machine" at this game, and we still love it. So when the site I bought it from asks me to post a review, and I read what I read, it bugged the hell out of me. This is why the internet pisses me off. Always someone going on about nothing, just for the sake of disagreement.
I'll start by sharing the review. Then, I shall review the review and give you all my thoughts.

"I'm sure that I'm about to piss off a ton of old school gamers but I just can't jump on the "best beat'm up of all time" bandwagon with this game. In my opinion it's not. Although it IS an awesome game and a true konami gem, I do have a few problems with it. The first problem is that it plays almost THE SAME as the previous 2 TMNT titles on the nes. Not that that's a problem but it kinda feels like an updated version of TMNT 3. The second problem is the control. It almost seems like there is no actual strategy. You just mash the attack button and hope you hit the enemy.....the hit detection seems a little finicky also. It just doesn't feel right when you punch or kick an enemy because the sound effects are kinda goofy and it just doesn't sound satisfying when you punch someone. I know this was meant to be a lighthearted game but look at TMNT Tournament Fighters, those sound effects were awesome and it was made by the same company. Finally the price tag. I'm sorry but this game isn't worth 70+ bucks in my opinion. Fanboys and hype are the only reason this game commands a price tag of this magnitude and I'm here to say that's pretty messed up. This game is actually not that rare. But in saying all that I WILL give credit where credit is do and say this IS a good game. I just think it gets ALLOT more credit than it actually deserves"

Couple things!
Yes. You have pissed me off. After the first sentence, I was already annoyed with this moron. Bandwagon? You're not jumping on the bandwagon? What band wagon? This isn't Justin Bieber you idiot, this is Turtles in Time! The reason us Turtles fans loved being young! This was our game! If there was a bandwagon, you probably would jump and miss it because you, unlike us Turtles fans, have no ninja skills that you have learned from the Turtles! Go back to your final fantasy, boy! We don't need you! Best beat 'em up game? Maybe! But not to you, huh?
You have some balls, man. Coming on a Turtles in Time review and picking it apart. Got any problems with Double Dragon? Why not shit on all the classics, huh? "The first problem...." is you. You're analyzing a fucking Ninja Turtles game in depth on a website that sells used video games. Not even a forum about the game! It plays almost the same as Turtles 2 and 3. ''The FIRST PROBLEM is that it plays almost THE SAME as the previous 2 TMNT titles on the nes. **Not that that's a problem.**" The first problem! Not that that's a problem...yeah, you just said it was. What's your fucking deal here? The same? Yeah, didn't have like, variety like the cartoon did, huh? The episodes were different each time. They didn't battle the shredder constantly because he was messing around with world domination, or taking over New York? Whatever the shred's deal was, he was always up to something new, never just trying to get back at the Turtles, right? Updated version of other games...Right. Same guy who probably keeps buying games from EA Sport's NHL series, and actually thinks there's more to it than an updated roster and a couple new jersey options. New school! Buddy, Turtles in Time never needed to release Turtles in Time 2017, to fix glitches. It played through the first and every time exactly the same! So, shut up.
"The second problem..." is you. You have a bad attitude, brother. Talking about control. A "D" pad. A. B. Y. X. SELECT. START. L and R. Just laid out the entire snes controller for you. Not very complex. What the hell are you expecting? Combos? 7 button ninja kicks like mortal kombat fatalities? Dude, it's fast paced! You gotta move! No time to be dicking around with button combinations! Mash it and "hope you hit the enemy?" Are you new? You don't hope you hit the enemy. You friggin' hit the enemy!
That's where the "D" pad comes in! Holy shit! If you walk towards the said enemy, and mash the buttons, you will hit them! Imagine that! There's no "hit detection". That's a word made up to make gamers sound smart and not like complete fucking loner nerds. I'm feeling like calibrating my "hit detection" right now, actually! Jesus Christ! "It just doesn't feel right when you punch or kick an enemy because the sound effects are kinda goofy and it just doesn't sound satisfying when you punch someone."
I know, I read it too. Doesn't "feel" right...because the SOUND effects are kinda goofy." Yeah, I know. Again, couple things. First of all, hearing sound effects, which is done with your ears, has no effect on the "feeling" you get. One is a feeling and one is something you hear!
Perhaps this is an issue for you because they're two different god damn things!
And it's all because of those goofy sound effects, huh? That's really bothering you?
The sound effects? Not feeling it, homeslice? Doesn't "feel" the same as when you're fighting in the streets, does it? No. Not the same, right? You're all hard, so you need your video games to be hard too? Is that it? What the hell are you going on about the sound effects for!?
See!?
This is the idiotic shit I'm talking about!
Wait! Wait! Wow! It's come to me! He's absolutely right! You'd think a 16 bit game released in 199-fucking-2, based on an 80's cartoon would have a great soundtrack! More realistic sounds of mutant turtles who talk hitting giant alligators and a friggin' pirate rhino who also talks! Bullshit! If they're going to be realistic enough to have a talking brain who controls himself with a giant robot trying to fight teenage turtles who are trained by a rat, then they had better damn well make the sound effects less goofy so you can really FEEL that shit, huh!? "Tmnt tournament fighters sound effects were awesome."
Did you actually just compare the friggin' Turtles to.....the Turtles? Sigh. I don't think I can handle much more of this. I never played "tournament fighters," but I don't like the "tournament" part of it. The Turtles protecting people from the foots and the shedder, that was no game! That was business! That was "Turtle Power" my friend! No tournament here, bud. It makes it sound the like Turles go to the fucking Olympics for Christ's sake, so I'm safe to say it isn't as good as In Time.
"Finally the price tag."
First of all, no. There's no price "tag" on a website. If you're getting all literal and technical about this, I will too. There's a "list price" here, but no tag.
"I'm sorry but this game isn't worth 70+ bucks in my opinion."
Don't apologize. Nobody actually gives a shit what you think is a fair price for a game you clearly don't like anyway. It was your right to post. Don't shit on a game and then puss out with an apology! You already pissed everyone off! On purpose! If you are apologizing, it means you didn't mean to do it, or you didn't know it'd make people angry. Which, in the opening line, you stated you "probably would" piss people off. So, you KNEW. And you kept writing your review, so YOU MEANT TO. What are you sorry for? Clearly, if you were so concerned about our feelings to the point of apologies, you'd have never wrote the damn review in the first place, would you? No. You COULD have rated one star and left it at that. And we could see the one star and think, "one star? Are they on meth?" But, no. You HAD to because you're an Internet warrior! Out to spread your view to the millions of people you don't matter to! You got me all fired up. So, please kindly stick that apology right up your arse and make some goofy sound effects while you do it, so I CAN ENJOY IT!
"Fanboys and hype are the only reason this game commands a price tag of this magnitude and I'm here to say that's pretty messed up." Really? I thought you were here about those goofy sound effects making you not feel the game.
I also thought you were here just to give me material for some high quality sarcasm. Either way, I'm glad you came! It is messed up! Not 70 dollars!
How much was that copy of NHL 17, bud? Huh? What? I'm sorry...I can't hear you over the sound of you're an idiot!
I paid 70 bucks for Turtles.
90 for mlb the show this year.
Pretty close price range for video games.
Buddy, google list price for Wayne Gretzky's rookie card in his rookie year, and then what it's worth today, and then once again, shut the hell up.
"This game is actually not that rare."
How do you know? Are you the ruler of all that is rare and all that is not rare?
No, you are not! Doesn't matter if it's rare! What's rare is you actually saying shit like this about an snes game and expect people to take you seriously! That's fucking rare! It may not be "rare," but, even with all your keen observations, it's in HIGH DEMAND. So, with our good friend captialism by our side, the more people who want it, the more money they'll need.
Retro is making a comeback. Of course companies are going to cash in on games! Especially the most popular ones! Idiot. This guy is a complete idiot. I can not believe the height of idiotic he's reached. It's astonishing.
"But in saying all that I WILL give credit where credit is do"
Due. It's not do. It's DUE. Read a book.
''and say this IS a good game."
Wow. This long of nit pick on a good game!? He must write novels on "bad games."
"I just think"
Think? Could have fooled me. Especially since I've pre read what you're about to say next...
"It gets ALLOT more credit than it actually deserves"
Period. You forgot the period.
Also, nothing! And I mean NOTHING... closes a brilliant opinion such as this one like misspelling a basic common four letter English word.
I liked that ending "ALLOT!"
What a plank. I mean, really?
If you are judging sound effects in a Turtles game, you have too much free fucking time on your hands. End of story.
No strategy.
Mash buttons.
Easy. Short.
Just go beat 'em and win the game as your favourite character.
Goofy cartoony sound effects...
Hmmmm, it sounds to me like this-this-no way! I think this game was intended for children! Not some mid twenty year old hipster new age gamer typing on a computer in mom's basement with Internet access she goes to a job to pay for. I think that's why all these "problems" are in the game! I figured it out, dude!
No need for reviews! It's a game for kids!
Have another diet Pepsi. Close this one out. And go forth to review again, my son! Go!
Unbelievable.
Asshole with broadband!
Internet Power!


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