I had a boyfriend, who pointed out that when we argued I would immediately take steps back like I was preparing for a fight. He taught me we still loved each other but looks at points from different angles. We were not each other's enemies. 
We even started hugging when we argued, as a discipline.  It was a very mature relationship. Those acts made us very present and intuned, actually hearing what each other was saying from a heart space. Our tone we're soft and loving, we could laugh while we dealt with our issues as things came up and often tending to each other's emotional needs.  Even our break up was so warm and friendly. We ended because we could tell each other honestly we were going different paths and wish each other well on our journeys. We are still great friends with much love whenever we see each other.

The reality is when you find something beautiful in a person and although you two have differences the beauty does not dry up. However none of us are perfect,  we are raised with different values, belief systems, putting in different amounts of effort.  You have to forgive people and see them as having their own agenda to sort out for them and they can't love you more than themselves. Most people do an awful job of loving themselves. 
Are you great at loving you?
Do you put you first?
probably not :)

I have learned I don't actually know everything, I can only do my best at the time, maybe so was my partner.  For this reason, I forgive myself and them and hope that a better version of me enters the next relationship remembering the love between us was real once.

Maria Collymore
Relationship Coach
June 8, 2020