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ONLY GOD'S KNOWS!!!
38 years old wow how this world thought wrong.Not even the doctors had it right.Yes, indeed they thought they were right.Man made tools things that were told is 99.9% of the time right.
1982 going on 1983 my mother was turning 16teen out and about with her friends partying.Doing any kind of drugs that she was able to get.Her birthday partying comed to a end.A trip to the ER because she had over done it.At that time her mother was ill have had been in the hospital for a few days already. My mother had no clue at that point of time she was pregnant.They told her she may end up losing the baby because of all the drugs and what they had to do to save her life.When my family told me about this I thought it was funny that she was put into the same room her mother was.She told me my grandmother gave her a talking.Sadly that didn't stop her from doing drugs and all not even 2 and half months she was back in the ER for overdosing again.This time they didn't even know if she would make it.My grandmother told me that the doctor couldn't hear the baby's heart beat very well.That they were going to keep an eye on it.But they would have to go in and take the baby.That the baby was not going to make it. Hours went by my grandmother prayed as well my uncle and a few others.As soon as the sun was coming up over the hills through the window.The doctors were getting ready to take her back to take the baby that they thought was dead that it was for the best. My grandmother said as soon as the doctor put thing on my mother's belly the baby's heart beat was strong.They ran a few more tests to make sure everything was okay.On December 29 1983 at 12:15 am I was BORN.As soon as my mother got out.It wasn't long she was back out doing her thing. My uncle said she came home.Just out the blue he said he heard a baby out on his mother's front porch in the winter. He opened the door there I was he said in a car seat.No one knew where she went or was.My grandmother and uncle did not care.They took me in and cared for me.She come home but she was with my sister about ready to have her.Then 2 years in 1987 she had my little brother.At that time I was not no more than 3.I still remember that day as if it just took place.My mother's husband came out on the porch.At that time me and my sister was playing.Boom I remember him falling.She took her time.At that time I know they were always fighting between them.The cops were there that day.No seemed to care if he was dieing.My little sister and I was crying my mother turned to us look what you little I'm not going to say what she said she told me and my sister it was because of us he killed his self that it happened.My brother was not even 3 months when his dad passed away.My grandmother tried beg her not to take us kids that day even go.Her my mother and her boyfriend at the time was high and been drinking. I know just a year ago I made it to where we were to go that day.1987 on the way to his grave sit a truck coming the other way ran into us. My sister was hanging out the door just a few inches from the road.My brother he was in a car seat at the time.Me my mother said she looked back there was blood coming out of my ears noise I ended up throwing up blood.She said I was lifeless was not breathing.A old lady and her husband took me in there car because any help getting to us any time soon wasn't going to happen.They life flight me out to WVU hospital.My aunt lived in Morgantown she told me they were giving me CPR doing everything to bring me back.The doctor told my family to get together because I was not going to make it.My aunt uncles grandmother a pastor nurse and doctors gather around my bed and prayed.For 6 months they had me on machines to keep me alive.All I remember was this man telling me That he will never forsake me that he would return for me one day.That my life wouldn't be easy.There would be things I wouldn't understand at the moment it took place. Always remember you belong to me.I know it sounds crazy and all.I remember begging him not to send me back to those people.I didn't understand why my uncle aunt grandmother had been even done half of what they did
Till just this past 2 half years the things I learned the things they put me through.I am just a messager someone telling you all Jesus Christ is real yes glory to the Most Holy one My God my Lord my King open your eyes world take a look around you open your bible it's right there.He will take what is his.It used to bother me about all the stuff happening around the world.Take it as you may but God has not been hiding he has been making his self knew.From the killing,sickness,the weather, so much.I am filled with so much joy knowing soon soon I will be going home.I should be died right now.I was on so many different medicines doctors told me that I would always be sick.Yes I have glasses,can't hear very well that's okay maybe yes I have had to have a VNS put inside me so I wouldn't have seizers as well metal rods put inside of me.9 years ago I was on 50 different medicines nothing now.Ive seen people be killed things a child shouldn't of .I know in my Father's eyes what have been going on even still was not right in his eyes.I have lost friends,family,over me standing on God's side allowing Jesus Christ to love me and take care of my every need.Every day how I pray for this world do anyone not understanding yes he does love and care about us look I know this world sees. Men are not the law God is the only law giver God allowed man to have a little power to take care of his children his people but instead they thought they could play God.I am not sorry for saying this even the people in the white house is being acting dumb. Stupid we all one day will bow before him be judged ever one even the Pop yes.I am a child of God not a Christian or jew what ever else that you all say.IAm a daughter of the one true king. I remember writing Mr.Trump telling him if this or that didn't change my God my Lord will show just who he is.For no one is before him or after he is the beginning and the end he is the one that gives us this very life we have he can take away.its our fault that all this stuff is going on we didn't listen I to am a sinner but I have been saved by his grace his love his blood has sent me free.I don't fear death for I know where I am going.Jesus Christ is the only way to our father through him Jesus Christ.He is real yes there is power in his name.Save your breath if you think your words will stop me from making the way for my one and only true love Jesus Christ. I've been beaten rapped people shooting guns at me so much my love my every reason to bring him honor and glory.things are going to get worse get ready for he is going to show this world
© carolyn L Barbe
1982 going on 1983 my mother was turning 16teen out and about with her friends partying.Doing any kind of drugs that she was able to get.Her birthday partying comed to a end.A trip to the ER because she had over done it.At that time her mother was ill have had been in the hospital for a few days already. My mother had no clue at that point of time she was pregnant.They told her she may end up losing the baby because of all the drugs and what they had to do to save her life.When my family told me about this I thought it was funny that she was put into the same room her mother was.She told me my grandmother gave her a talking.Sadly that didn't stop her from doing drugs and all not even 2 and half months she was back in the ER for overdosing again.This time they didn't even know if she would make it.My grandmother told me that the doctor couldn't hear the baby's heart beat very well.That they were going to keep an eye on it.But they would have to go in and take the baby.That the baby was not going to make it. Hours went by my grandmother prayed as well my uncle and a few others.As soon as the sun was coming up over the hills through the window.The doctors were getting ready to take her back to take the baby that they thought was dead that it was for the best. My grandmother said as soon as the doctor put thing on my mother's belly the baby's heart beat was strong.They ran a few more tests to make sure everything was okay.On December 29 1983 at 12:15 am I was BORN.As soon as my mother got out.It wasn't long she was back out doing her thing. My uncle said she came home.Just out the blue he said he heard a baby out on his mother's front porch in the winter. He opened the door there I was he said in a car seat.No one knew where she went or was.My grandmother and uncle did not care.They took me in and cared for me.She come home but she was with my sister about ready to have her.Then 2 years in 1987 she had my little brother.At that time I was not no more than 3.I still remember that day as if it just took place.My mother's husband came out on the porch.At that time me and my sister was playing.Boom I remember him falling.She took her time.At that time I know they were always fighting between them.The cops were there that day.No seemed to care if he was dieing.My little sister and I was crying my mother turned to us look what you little I'm not going to say what she said she told me and my sister it was because of us he killed his self that it happened.My brother was not even 3 months when his dad passed away.My grandmother tried beg her not to take us kids that day even go.Her my mother and her boyfriend at the time was high and been drinking. I know just a year ago I made it to where we were to go that day.1987 on the way to his grave sit a truck coming the other way ran into us. My sister was hanging out the door just a few inches from the road.My brother he was in a car seat at the time.Me my mother said she looked back there was blood coming out of my ears noise I ended up throwing up blood.She said I was lifeless was not breathing.A old lady and her husband took me in there car because any help getting to us any time soon wasn't going to happen.They life flight me out to WVU hospital.My aunt lived in Morgantown she told me they were giving me CPR doing everything to bring me back.The doctor told my family to get together because I was not going to make it.My aunt uncles grandmother a pastor nurse and doctors gather around my bed and prayed.For 6 months they had me on machines to keep me alive.All I remember was this man telling me That he will never forsake me that he would return for me one day.That my life wouldn't be easy.There would be things I wouldn't understand at the moment it took place. Always remember you belong to me.I know it sounds crazy and all.I remember begging him not to send me back to those people.I didn't understand why my uncle aunt grandmother had been even done half of what they did
Till just this past 2 half years the things I learned the things they put me through.I am just a messager someone telling you all Jesus Christ is real yes glory to the Most Holy one My God my Lord my King open your eyes world take a look around you open your bible it's right there.He will take what is his.It used to bother me about all the stuff happening around the world.Take it as you may but God has not been hiding he has been making his self knew.From the killing,sickness,the weather, so much.I am filled with so much joy knowing soon soon I will be going home.I should be died right now.I was on so many different medicines doctors told me that I would always be sick.Yes I have glasses,can't hear very well that's okay maybe yes I have had to have a VNS put inside me so I wouldn't have seizers as well metal rods put inside of me.9 years ago I was on 50 different medicines nothing now.Ive seen people be killed things a child shouldn't of .I know in my Father's eyes what have been going on even still was not right in his eyes.I have lost friends,family,over me standing on God's side allowing Jesus Christ to love me and take care of my every need.Every day how I pray for this world do anyone not understanding yes he does love and care about us look I know this world sees. Men are not the law God is the only law giver God allowed man to have a little power to take care of his children his people but instead they thought they could play God.I am not sorry for saying this even the people in the white house is being acting dumb. Stupid we all one day will bow before him be judged ever one even the Pop yes.I am a child of God not a Christian or jew what ever else that you all say.IAm a daughter of the one true king. I remember writing Mr.Trump telling him if this or that didn't change my God my Lord will show just who he is.For no one is before him or after he is the beginning and the end he is the one that gives us this very life we have he can take away.its our fault that all this stuff is going on we didn't listen I to am a sinner but I have been saved by his grace his love his blood has sent me free.I don't fear death for I know where I am going.Jesus Christ is the only way to our father through him Jesus Christ.He is real yes there is power in his name.Save your breath if you think your words will stop me from making the way for my one and only true love Jesus Christ. I've been beaten rapped people shooting guns at me so much my love my every reason to bring him honor and glory.things are going to get worse get ready for he is going to show this world
© carolyn L Barbe
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