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Heartless
Ever imagine having it all and it still doesn't make you happy. After waiting for it so long, you forget how eagerly you want it. You had already lost interest. like love, you want it so bad, then when you get it, it's not what you expected it to be. but who knows, it might work out for some people. for me, it's just make believe, nothing ever come true, never get anything good out of anything.
being molested by my eighteen year old cousin, fliped my whole world upside down. I went from a bubbly personality who loved to talk to a complete shut down from the world. My only safe place was my room or beside my mother. My real father was never around and is possiblity to be a rapists. Which would label me as his seed. If it were true, I wouldn't know how to think or what words to say, if I were ever to come across him.
My step dad was the only man and Father figure I ever known. We did everything together. We went fishing, frog hunting, going to parades, having barn fires and crawfish boils while having family over. and Christmas was the all time favorite and new years. It was the most beautiful important memories you could never forget. School was tough as a young girl. I had attend an all white school and few blacks. I would go to my nanny house who is black for two months and attended an all black summer school so I wouldn't feel so out of place from my own color. I had to sit in a all white room with only two chairs, leaveing me and the reporter taking my case of molestation. I went to therapy up until eleven. I was 9 when it happen. Getting bullied for my pants being high waters, wearing glasses to be called for eye, ugly because I was a tooth pick with bad acne. I had a mouth on me and angry like a mule, I can honestly say that.
Then the worst of worst happen to my life at just 15. My mom mistakenly have taken the wrong medicine, as result, of her being mild MR. Doctor version, Mild Retarded. My version, still my mom, just not the same person I grew to know. She has forgotten a lot of things she use to do and how to do it. She has forgotten sum of her past. Maybe it's a good thing. Who would wanna remember their past anyway. In the mist of it, one of my aunts took action, and took my mother and I away from our home we grown to love, and away from the only man I knew as my dad. It left my dad heart broken, my mother was the love of his life. My aunt didn't allow my dad to talk to us. She treated me like a savage because the color of my light brown skin. She was jelouse because she gave up her first daughter to complete strangers for a man who didn't want kids. She wanted my mother to give me away, but she kept me and raised me. But after the stroke I really feel like I practically raised myself. life was tough, we were being controlled like robots from my aunt. She tried to put me in a group home for...
being molested by my eighteen year old cousin, fliped my whole world upside down. I went from a bubbly personality who loved to talk to a complete shut down from the world. My only safe place was my room or beside my mother. My real father was never around and is possiblity to be a rapists. Which would label me as his seed. If it were true, I wouldn't know how to think or what words to say, if I were ever to come across him.
My step dad was the only man and Father figure I ever known. We did everything together. We went fishing, frog hunting, going to parades, having barn fires and crawfish boils while having family over. and Christmas was the all time favorite and new years. It was the most beautiful important memories you could never forget. School was tough as a young girl. I had attend an all white school and few blacks. I would go to my nanny house who is black for two months and attended an all black summer school so I wouldn't feel so out of place from my own color. I had to sit in a all white room with only two chairs, leaveing me and the reporter taking my case of molestation. I went to therapy up until eleven. I was 9 when it happen. Getting bullied for my pants being high waters, wearing glasses to be called for eye, ugly because I was a tooth pick with bad acne. I had a mouth on me and angry like a mule, I can honestly say that.
Then the worst of worst happen to my life at just 15. My mom mistakenly have taken the wrong medicine, as result, of her being mild MR. Doctor version, Mild Retarded. My version, still my mom, just not the same person I grew to know. She has forgotten a lot of things she use to do and how to do it. She has forgotten sum of her past. Maybe it's a good thing. Who would wanna remember their past anyway. In the mist of it, one of my aunts took action, and took my mother and I away from our home we grown to love, and away from the only man I knew as my dad. It left my dad heart broken, my mother was the love of his life. My aunt didn't allow my dad to talk to us. She treated me like a savage because the color of my light brown skin. She was jelouse because she gave up her first daughter to complete strangers for a man who didn't want kids. She wanted my mother to give me away, but she kept me and raised me. But after the stroke I really feel like I practically raised myself. life was tough, we were being controlled like robots from my aunt. She tried to put me in a group home for...
