Colofol Chaous Segment 3/5
"Roller Coaster⚡"

Jacob came down for two days in a row after the passionate mind blowing day we had the week before. I mean I can't even lie he really is just that good. I guess I must not be that bad either considering how we made plans to meet up and do it again.

I didn't get to see him at all yesterday except for a second, but he was able to come up again today. Aside from getting into a fight with this crazy pregnant bitch I still had a good day. Being with him always makes it a good day. Jacob was able to have sex with me on an actual bed, but my period ruined that too...go figure!

At least Jacob didn't get mad or made me feel embarrassed to where I wanted to lock myself in a closet and hide for the rest of my days. He kept telling me that I had nothing to feel sorry for. I still consider myself playing with fire.

I know Tammy is the one who told and showed Stanley about the pictures I sent to Jacob a few weeks ago.

She must have went in my phone when I was sleeping and sent them to herself for when he came home. The war is silent, but it's there and everyone knows about it.

So I guess Stanley finally has a 'reason' to call me a whore. Yet that's just the thing...If I want to do better in life that doesn't make me a Whore it makes me whole hearted because you can't take. care of other people if you cant take care of yourself.

To make this war not get any worse I needed to come up with a plan. I'm going to have to pick up and go to women's resource center and get out of living at my moms. The most I can do is see if they can get me an apartment for me and my kids an apartment without getting Stanley getting arrested for spitting in my face. If so, then I could get Jacob out of that horrible house he's currently living in and we could actually live together. Oh my goodness!

If that ever happened where Jacob and I spent a whole night together in the state we are currently in, I know my heart would melt into a puddle and I would definitely loose it.

I still have to keep telling myself that is one family that I am dealing with and all of them could turn on me with a snap of a finger, including Jacob.

"You are to always follow your heart, but to always keep your guard up baby girl!" My conscience reminds me on the daily.

Im still playing with fire in the battlefield of an active war zone, but wasn't this expected? Isn't this what I wanted? I'm just waiting for it to end so that way I can move on and change mine and even Jacob's life... That's if he really wants it...