Life takes us through different paths, paths which we never thought we'd take. One step forward can either move us forward or set us back, it can destroy us or build us but there is no easy way forward, there is no map to guide us hence life is a strange mystery that no one can solve and it brings us to points we never thought we'd see on the road. My life has been an unknown trail, lost and married to my family and drowned in the confines of the compound. Life to me has always been about making the ones I love happy and that mostly means staying indoors full time and becoming part of the servant crew despite being a daughter of the house. I'm the first born in a two children family with a single father, he strives to protect us from all evils of the world but he forgets that he can't control everything, and now I'm confined to my father's house and only allowed to leave for school ventures or the family business events. Now before I get sidetracked, I'm Delphine and I'm not here to tell you about my life with my father, but about the two forbidden love stories which I know were quite different from my normal lifeline. You might probably wonder how a seventeen year old can fall in love or maybe you think it's just another Infatuation but trust me this wasn't just an infatuation- I mean if true love doesn't include self sacrificing love ( a love that's not selfish) then there is no such thing as true love - I loved them both beyond myself. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't a love triangle, I loved these two in different but adjacent years. Anyway Let's start with my first love, Andrey, though he was sweet, kind and everything a girl could dream of; we never really met in person, our non- relationship began online and ended online. He made advances, told me he loved me like none of the females he has met, he was even willing to come and talk to my parent and ask for my hand in marriage and he even tried to meet me in person but despite his advances I just couldn't say yes, things were moving too fast..... I mean not only was he older than me but we had not met even once, I loved him enough yes to disregard the age,I wouldn't have minded a life with him but like I said I'm married to my family and I had to think of them, so as always I did what is best for my family and their reputation. Today I'm back in the same dilemma, I don't know if it's a thing but apparently I guess my heart cannot seem to find peace as it longs for another- I know our passion is forbidden but all I want is to be in his arms, feel his warmth, let his scent consume me and let myself melt as he talks- if you can't experience that then you haven't loved someone yet. It must be silly, I'm just 17 what do I know about love? All I can tell you is when I see him my heart skips a beat, I get butterflies in my stomach when he gives me attention even for just a minute and when he is in pain I am in pain. You see with this current love, my second love - Danny, the issue is not about age or the family acceptance but there is someone between us. I don't know if he feels the same way, sometimes I think I make his life difficult but I cannot stay away....... All I know is that he has a person in his life and I cannot come between that, so I just love him in secret, I wish him happiness and nothing less and cherish that atleast I have his friendship.
Knowing that me and Danny will never be hurts beyond what words can cover, but what choice do I have? For now I must learn how to live with my current situation. Currently I'm trying to get Danny out of my head, he can't consume my heart and drive me insane like he does and I can't be melting and losing my senses when he wraps me in one of his comfortable hugs... Okay yes I have a problem and it's known as Danny but there is no rehab for this problem and I'm afraid talking to father about everything is not an option, so I guess I just have to face everything with my head held high hoping that someday I will find someone I can call my own.
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