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Dirt House
Moving to an unknown, foreign land is an heart wrenching experience. Having to leave every one of my friends behind, having to adjust to the new culture and finding good shops. But the nature of our capitalism overlords doesn't comply with us slaves who have been sugar-coated with the term 'employee'
Moving was tough initially, many new things to learn, the morale value and mindset of people completely different from my homeland.
Talking about sex is not a crime here. My purity as a woman is not put on pedestal for family's to boast about. Not having my character judged based on purity or virginity is an amazingly surreal thing. I wonder how long it would take my homeland to reach this stage....
All my life, something had been always bothering me from deep inside. I have this feeling, these thoughts, THESE URGES!! that I so badly want to act upon but my gospel prevents me from.
These unusual thoughts, these desires that burst inside me upon seeing someone charming from same gender. These feelings that I never get for opposite gender. There must be something wrong with me. This I believed, as that's what the people at church told me, they said god doesn't take people like me to heaven, that we are sinners. God doesn't like me.
But these feelings....I couldn't remove. Suppressing them was my only option. The god hurt me, he doesn't want people like me.
This has been hurting me, eating me from inside for a very long time ...until I reached this new land, where I learned something important.
The god didn't hurt me, it was the people who did. It's people who don't like me, it's those people at church that didn't want me happy.
God was not disgusted by my attraction towards same sex, people were.
In this new land, my sexuality is accepted. This land is the place where I want to build my dream life.
Suddenly a loud BANG! and my dreams are shattered. I wake up to look at the ceilings of my dirt house.
A place where I'm not made fun of for my sexuality, a land where my homosexuality is accepted, a dream land.....
hmph...what a joke.....as if that's possible....
I will live and die inside this dirt house, suppressing myself for eternity.
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Moving was tough initially, many new things to learn, the morale value and mindset of people completely different from my homeland.
Talking about sex is not a crime here. My purity as a woman is not put on pedestal for family's to boast about. Not having my character judged based on purity or virginity is an amazingly surreal thing. I wonder how long it would take my homeland to reach this stage....
All my life, something had been always bothering me from deep inside. I have this feeling, these thoughts, THESE URGES!! that I so badly want to act upon but my gospel prevents me from.
These unusual thoughts, these desires that burst inside me upon seeing someone charming from same gender. These feelings that I never get for opposite gender. There must be something wrong with me. This I believed, as that's what the people at church told me, they said god doesn't take people like me to heaven, that we are sinners. God doesn't like me.
But these feelings....I couldn't remove. Suppressing them was my only option. The god hurt me, he doesn't want people like me.
This has been hurting me, eating me from inside for a very long time ...until I reached this new land, where I learned something important.
The god didn't hurt me, it was the people who did. It's people who don't like me, it's those people at church that didn't want me happy.
God was not disgusted by my attraction towards same sex, people were.
In this new land, my sexuality is accepted. This land is the place where I want to build my dream life.
Suddenly a loud BANG! and my dreams are shattered. I wake up to look at the ceilings of my dirt house.
A place where I'm not made fun of for my sexuality, a land where my homosexuality is accepted, a dream land.....
hmph...what a joke.....as if that's possible....
I will live and die inside this dirt house, suppressing myself for eternity.
© All Rights Reserved
