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2AM
"Hello" His voice sounded so low and muffled. He's sleeping. Of course anyone with sane mind will sleep at this time. But no, I still chose to ask him the dumbest question.
"Are you sleeping?" I don't know what to say.
"Sara. This better be something urgent or important. Did you seriously call me at 2am to ask if I'm sleeping?" I could hear the shuffling sound of his bedsheets.
"I just want to check on you. It's been many days since we talked. And also i want to ask you if you need any help to move in to your new apartment. "I blurted out all the random questions that came in to my mind.
What the hell am i doing?? Why in the hell did i call him at this time of hour instead of crying in to my pillow like i do most of the nights.
"Sara. What happened?" His concerned voice increased my guilt for disturbing his sleep.
"Shouldn't i call you to check on you?" I'm sure he understood that something is wrong.
"we just met yesterday. I talked the whole time while you listened to my stupid foolish ranting. I told you that i already moved all my things to my new place. I know there's something else bothering you. You know you can share anything with me. Right?" This is why he's the only person who came in to my mind at this hour when i felt like i need someone to talk to.
"Ben. I got....." I failed to speak anything further. My voice started trembling while fresh set of tears are rolling down my face. I'm sure he could listen to my hiccups.
"Did something happen at home? Why are you crying? Tell me what's wrong." Nothing came out of my mouth.
"Speak something. Please." His pleading voice sounded close to JAKE. He used to sound same when he requests me to attend his game.
"I got accepted in to the university. I received the letter in the evening. " I never imagined that I'll be sad after knowing I got accepted in to the university that I dreamed to study in. If this would've happened 5months ago I'll be dancing and screaming right now.
"That's great news girl. I'm so happy and proud right now." He sounded so happy he might be dancing right now. I know he cares for me and always tries to cheer me up. I wanted to show the same excitement like him. But I feel nothing apart from pain that's rising inside me with every breath I'm taking since I saw the acceptance letter.
"Sara. I know it's diff" I know what he's about to say but I don't think his words will change what I'm feeling now.
"It's getting difficult with each day passing ben. I'm trying to move on. I really am. But It's so difficult to stop myself from thinking about him. I miss him so much. I wish" He didn't let me finish my sentence.
"Don't you dare say that. We can't change what happened. Right?'' I know he's trying to be patient.
"I know." I said because I know he's right. There's nothing to argue about this.
"I know it's difficult to forget everything but we can't change what happened. I'm not asking you to forgot about him. I know that will never happen. He's your brother who's there for you in every step of your life till now. And I know it'll be difficult for you to accept all this but you should try to do that. It's your dream to study in this university and it came true now. But instead of being happy you're crying." He talked to me like he's talking to a 5year old kid.
"He's the one who brought the application to home and filled it because I chickened out that day. I was afraid I may not get accepted and refused to even apply for it. He filled it for me. He said 'You'll get accepted. Believe me. You are so talented and brilliant. My ego is not allowing me to say this, but I know you'll get in to the college for sure. And when you receive the acceptance letter I'll take you to out to get your favourite ice cream and we will party whole night.' But he's not there beside me like he promised. " I really miss him today. I wish he is here with me so we can go out like he promised.
I could hear some noise from ben's side. "What are those sounds. You said you're at home. Right?
"I'm in the balcony. " Yeah I forgot his new flat is located near the market road where the roads will be busy even at 2AM. Just 15 minutes away from where I live but it's like a difference between village and town. There's no much traffic here. Jake like this place so much because this area is so peaceful unlike all other areas in this city.
"I still feel like he's is in the next room playing videogames sometimes. It's difficult to not miss him when every corner and inch in this house are filled with his memories." He'll be so happy if he's here now.
The sudden knock on my door startled me. There's no one I expect to visit me. Especially at this time.
"There's someone knocking on my door." I said to ben in a hushed tone.
"Who's visiting you at this time?" He too spoke in a low tone like the person outside can listen to him which actually made me laugh. Ben is always funny and jovial. He and jake are best friends since primary school. He actually declared himself as my brother in my 5th grade when he fought with a boy who bullied me. So I was forced to torment another brother when jake is already enough to torture me. But I eventually accepted ben as my brother. He's so kind and good. And now I'm glad I have him. For the past 8 months he's always there for me. I know he was never joking when he said I'm his sister.
My thoughts where interrupted when he said "May be you should answer the door." I got lost in my thoughts that i actually forgot there's someone outside waiting for me to open the door. But what if the person is some thief or killer. Or maybe a ghost.
"No. What if that person is here to kidnap me? I won't open the door." I know I'm talking like a kid but I don’t want to take any risk. Even dad is not at home.
"What if they came for your dad?" Yeah. But
"At this hour?? I don’t think so. Even if they are here for my dad I'm not going to open the door. It's there mistake to show up unannounced." I know dad will inform me if he expects a guest.
"What if they need some help. Maybe there's some emergency." He might be right.
"Okay. I'm going to open the door. You stay in the line. I'll put you on speaker and stay on mute. If something happens you will come here immediately. It'll hardly take 15 minutes for you to drive here." I said everything in a rush.
"No way. I won't come out even for 15 minutes at this time. I'm too lazy to do that. I can only do something to help you sitting here in my balcony." He said while yawning.
"I'll kill you. If I need any help you are coming. End of the discussion. Now I'm going to open the door. So stay on the line idiot." I didn't pay attention to what he said next.
I turned on the lights in hall and walked towards the door. I really wish we had a peep hole on our door like they show in movies.
"Ben. Are you there?" I wanted to make sure he's not asleep.
"Yeah devil. " I'm relieved to some extent that I've ben to inform dad if anything happens.
The moment I opened the door I saw ben standing there with his hands inside his pocket and a idiotic smile is plastered on his face. He's really an idiot.
"Idiot. You scared me." I tried to punch him on his chest but he dodged my fist and before I could throw another punch he pulled me in to a hug.
"Congratulations my little sister. I'm proud of you." He lifted me up and twirled me. After I landed on my feet I couldn't stop smiling. He's here to congratulate me at this hour. I think I'll cry now.
"Let's go inside." I said pulling his hands but he stopped me.
"No. We are going out now. To celebrate your achievement." He said bowing down dramatically which made me laugh. But his actions also brought a tinge of pain because he just acted like jake now.
"Jake will say the same thing if he's here." I said looking down unable to control the tears streaming down my face.
"I know. And we will enjoy like he's here with us. Jake will never like to see his sister sad. Am I right?" I nodded wiping my tears. I know it's difficult for ben too. Ben and jake are Inseparable. But he's doing this for me.
"Good. Now we will go out and get your favourite ice cream and party all night and make jake happy."After a pause he continued "He's here with us sara. In your smiles. Make him happy by being happy. Make him proud." He said ruffling my hair. And I know he's right. Jake will never like me being all moody and sad. And like ben said I'm going to make him proud.
"So are you ready for our little celebration, my little sister." He tried to say it with an accent but failed.
"Yes my big brother." I said looping my hand with his.
© maggi
#Love&love #Life&Life #life #brotherlove #brothersister #writcoapp #writco #writcopoet #Feelings #broken
"Are you sleeping?" I don't know what to say.
"Sara. This better be something urgent or important. Did you seriously call me at 2am to ask if I'm sleeping?" I could hear the shuffling sound of his bedsheets.
"I just want to check on you. It's been many days since we talked. And also i want to ask you if you need any help to move in to your new apartment. "I blurted out all the random questions that came in to my mind.
What the hell am i doing?? Why in the hell did i call him at this time of hour instead of crying in to my pillow like i do most of the nights.
"Sara. What happened?" His concerned voice increased my guilt for disturbing his sleep.
"Shouldn't i call you to check on you?" I'm sure he understood that something is wrong.
"we just met yesterday. I talked the whole time while you listened to my stupid foolish ranting. I told you that i already moved all my things to my new place. I know there's something else bothering you. You know you can share anything with me. Right?" This is why he's the only person who came in to my mind at this hour when i felt like i need someone to talk to.
"Ben. I got....." I failed to speak anything further. My voice started trembling while fresh set of tears are rolling down my face. I'm sure he could listen to my hiccups.
"Did something happen at home? Why are you crying? Tell me what's wrong." Nothing came out of my mouth.
"Speak something. Please." His pleading voice sounded close to JAKE. He used to sound same when he requests me to attend his game.
"I got accepted in to the university. I received the letter in the evening. " I never imagined that I'll be sad after knowing I got accepted in to the university that I dreamed to study in. If this would've happened 5months ago I'll be dancing and screaming right now.
"That's great news girl. I'm so happy and proud right now." He sounded so happy he might be dancing right now. I know he cares for me and always tries to cheer me up. I wanted to show the same excitement like him. But I feel nothing apart from pain that's rising inside me with every breath I'm taking since I saw the acceptance letter.
"Sara. I know it's diff" I know what he's about to say but I don't think his words will change what I'm feeling now.
"It's getting difficult with each day passing ben. I'm trying to move on. I really am. But It's so difficult to stop myself from thinking about him. I miss him so much. I wish" He didn't let me finish my sentence.
"Don't you dare say that. We can't change what happened. Right?'' I know he's trying to be patient.
"I know." I said because I know he's right. There's nothing to argue about this.
"I know it's difficult to forget everything but we can't change what happened. I'm not asking you to forgot about him. I know that will never happen. He's your brother who's there for you in every step of your life till now. And I know it'll be difficult for you to accept all this but you should try to do that. It's your dream to study in this university and it came true now. But instead of being happy you're crying." He talked to me like he's talking to a 5year old kid.
"He's the one who brought the application to home and filled it because I chickened out that day. I was afraid I may not get accepted and refused to even apply for it. He filled it for me. He said 'You'll get accepted. Believe me. You are so talented and brilliant. My ego is not allowing me to say this, but I know you'll get in to the college for sure. And when you receive the acceptance letter I'll take you to out to get your favourite ice cream and we will party whole night.' But he's not there beside me like he promised. " I really miss him today. I wish he is here with me so we can go out like he promised.
I could hear some noise from ben's side. "What are those sounds. You said you're at home. Right?
"I'm in the balcony. " Yeah I forgot his new flat is located near the market road where the roads will be busy even at 2AM. Just 15 minutes away from where I live but it's like a difference between village and town. There's no much traffic here. Jake like this place so much because this area is so peaceful unlike all other areas in this city.
"I still feel like he's is in the next room playing videogames sometimes. It's difficult to not miss him when every corner and inch in this house are filled with his memories." He'll be so happy if he's here now.
The sudden knock on my door startled me. There's no one I expect to visit me. Especially at this time.
"There's someone knocking on my door." I said to ben in a hushed tone.
"Who's visiting you at this time?" He too spoke in a low tone like the person outside can listen to him which actually made me laugh. Ben is always funny and jovial. He and jake are best friends since primary school. He actually declared himself as my brother in my 5th grade when he fought with a boy who bullied me. So I was forced to torment another brother when jake is already enough to torture me. But I eventually accepted ben as my brother. He's so kind and good. And now I'm glad I have him. For the past 8 months he's always there for me. I know he was never joking when he said I'm his sister.
My thoughts where interrupted when he said "May be you should answer the door." I got lost in my thoughts that i actually forgot there's someone outside waiting for me to open the door. But what if the person is some thief or killer. Or maybe a ghost.
"No. What if that person is here to kidnap me? I won't open the door." I know I'm talking like a kid but I don’t want to take any risk. Even dad is not at home.
"What if they came for your dad?" Yeah. But
"At this hour?? I don’t think so. Even if they are here for my dad I'm not going to open the door. It's there mistake to show up unannounced." I know dad will inform me if he expects a guest.
"What if they need some help. Maybe there's some emergency." He might be right.
"Okay. I'm going to open the door. You stay in the line. I'll put you on speaker and stay on mute. If something happens you will come here immediately. It'll hardly take 15 minutes for you to drive here." I said everything in a rush.
"No way. I won't come out even for 15 minutes at this time. I'm too lazy to do that. I can only do something to help you sitting here in my balcony." He said while yawning.
"I'll kill you. If I need any help you are coming. End of the discussion. Now I'm going to open the door. So stay on the line idiot." I didn't pay attention to what he said next.
I turned on the lights in hall and walked towards the door. I really wish we had a peep hole on our door like they show in movies.
"Ben. Are you there?" I wanted to make sure he's not asleep.
"Yeah devil. " I'm relieved to some extent that I've ben to inform dad if anything happens.
The moment I opened the door I saw ben standing there with his hands inside his pocket and a idiotic smile is plastered on his face. He's really an idiot.
"Idiot. You scared me." I tried to punch him on his chest but he dodged my fist and before I could throw another punch he pulled me in to a hug.
"Congratulations my little sister. I'm proud of you." He lifted me up and twirled me. After I landed on my feet I couldn't stop smiling. He's here to congratulate me at this hour. I think I'll cry now.
"Let's go inside." I said pulling his hands but he stopped me.
"No. We are going out now. To celebrate your achievement." He said bowing down dramatically which made me laugh. But his actions also brought a tinge of pain because he just acted like jake now.
"Jake will say the same thing if he's here." I said looking down unable to control the tears streaming down my face.
"I know. And we will enjoy like he's here with us. Jake will never like to see his sister sad. Am I right?" I nodded wiping my tears. I know it's difficult for ben too. Ben and jake are Inseparable. But he's doing this for me.
"Good. Now we will go out and get your favourite ice cream and party all night and make jake happy."After a pause he continued "He's here with us sara. In your smiles. Make him happy by being happy. Make him proud." He said ruffling my hair. And I know he's right. Jake will never like me being all moody and sad. And like ben said I'm going to make him proud.
"So are you ready for our little celebration, my little sister." He tried to say it with an accent but failed.
"Yes my big brother." I said looping my hand with his.
© maggi
#Love&love #Life&Life #life #brotherlove #brothersister #writcoapp #writco #writcopoet #Feelings #broken
