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The person I never knew I was
Happy new year!
this is actually my first time writing this year. I have been looking at myself in the mirror a lot these days and I'm super proud of the woman I'm becoming, now this story isn't supposed to be about me but how much I have grown so far.
I used to be someone that never liked to stand out or do anything that attracted attention to me, since I'm naturally a shy person, I figured oh well it comes with the personality. so I lived my life through others, I motivate people to be who I wished i could become, I hid myself a lot and since my best color was black it naturally became easier for me to be hidden in the crowd.
I was that kind of student that would know the answer to a question asked by the teacher and quietly pass it on to my neighbor to answer, simply because I wasn't confident enough to be that person. I would pick a pen and write an excellent speech but would never want to climb the stage to read it out, why should I? I was also that tall person that would bend down whenever I took pictures with my friends so I could be on the same height with them and not stand out too much to be noticed.
To the point I lost confident in myself as a woman, everyone that knew me praised about how beautiful I am and how perfect my body is, but I didn't feel confident to boldly accept it myself. All I wanted to do was to hide!
I'm writing this because today I looked at my wardrobe and I saw lots of bright colours, I saw myself browsing for a red car to buy and standing in the mirror longer time to admire myself, lol.
I have grown to love myself a lot and taught myself that it's okay to stand out, it's okay to do whatever I want to do and be whomever. I speak out when I feel the need to instead of pilling it up( because I know how unhealthy it is for me), I now make decisions that doesn't compromise the person I am and what I stand for. I see myself fighting a lot for myself these days, for what I believe in and what I want to do. Believe me it took a lot of process and failures to get here but I'm happy I'm in this state of mind in my life, I mean it's okay even if we don't really understand who exactly we are, we keep living to the fullest and with each day that passes, we try to learn and fight for who we want to be...
© ogechukwu
this is actually my first time writing this year. I have been looking at myself in the mirror a lot these days and I'm super proud of the woman I'm becoming, now this story isn't supposed to be about me but how much I have grown so far.
I used to be someone that never liked to stand out or do anything that attracted attention to me, since I'm naturally a shy person, I figured oh well it comes with the personality. so I lived my life through others, I motivate people to be who I wished i could become, I hid myself a lot and since my best color was black it naturally became easier for me to be hidden in the crowd.
I was that kind of student that would know the answer to a question asked by the teacher and quietly pass it on to my neighbor to answer, simply because I wasn't confident enough to be that person. I would pick a pen and write an excellent speech but would never want to climb the stage to read it out, why should I? I was also that tall person that would bend down whenever I took pictures with my friends so I could be on the same height with them and not stand out too much to be noticed.
To the point I lost confident in myself as a woman, everyone that knew me praised about how beautiful I am and how perfect my body is, but I didn't feel confident to boldly accept it myself. All I wanted to do was to hide!
I'm writing this because today I looked at my wardrobe and I saw lots of bright colours, I saw myself browsing for a red car to buy and standing in the mirror longer time to admire myself, lol.
I have grown to love myself a lot and taught myself that it's okay to stand out, it's okay to do whatever I want to do and be whomever. I speak out when I feel the need to instead of pilling it up( because I know how unhealthy it is for me), I now make decisions that doesn't compromise the person I am and what I stand for. I see myself fighting a lot for myself these days, for what I believe in and what I want to do. Believe me it took a lot of process and failures to get here but I'm happy I'm in this state of mind in my life, I mean it's okay even if we don't really understand who exactly we are, we keep living to the fullest and with each day that passes, we try to learn and fight for who we want to be...
© ogechukwu
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