Healing is a mess.
It's saying of things left unsaid and hoping it won't wake up 10 years later to hunt us down.

I think maybe it's constant cries that cover the shallow rooms in our hearts that are left empty or the constant reminder that saying you are a better person doesn't change the past.

It's a constant reminder that you were done wrong and you did others wrong and all the backstabbing truth of hate people had for you.

Healing is not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It's trying to be the light amid the disaster you are in, hoping it's good enough to get you to the finish.

It's sleepless nights and panic attacks, a constant reminder that you can change and be different, that you wanna be different.

You don't just wake up and decide you wanna heal because God knows you better be prepared for puffy eyes, a runny nose, and a constant headache from the number of tears you gonna be crying.

Healing comes and goes. When you think you doing just okay, it throws you under the bus to remind you who's boss.

Healing is pain and so much more. It's something that is, was, and is to come. Whether in moments of laughter, or pieces of pain, it gathers to chock you to death, only to revive you back to life.

Healing is insane. Inevitable yet pending, waiting to be seen, heard, touched, and felt. It stays hidden, hoping to be your next favorite thing, but scared, not knowing if it's gonna be accepted.

Healing is you.

In parts of tomorrow, and in years to come. Happy, constant, and smiling. Letting the sunbathe you, it's a chance. To let go and never look back because life looks good in the midsts of beautiful sunsets, in peace, without pain.

~Black_Phoenix

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