scream

scream

scream

I've been screaming for a while

at the top of my lungs as the sting in my eyes grow worse

but the problem is that it's never out loud, never for the world to hear

because why would I give them that power over me?

to hurt me more than they already have?

all the world knows how to do is take and take the very best part of you

and I'm tired of being a willing donor

always that shoulder to lean on, listening ear, carrier of everyone else's shit

but here I stand alone, drowning in mine

I'm human too you know?

I can barely keep myself up sometimes and no matter how hard I look there's no one

of course everyone has their lives to live and that's perfectly fine

but I do too dammit

if I can find the time to give pieces of myself

am I not worth the same?

I might be strong but I can only take so much

I hide

I hide

I hide

I push away, Ignore and lock in the deepest part of me when it hurts

when I want to keep bending over backwards like a complete fool

actions speak louder than words yeah?

well mine are about too

and Lord help me I come out of this with every piece of myself intact

cuz God knows I'm about to struggle not to plummet

but I absolutely refuse to live like this

if I have to shut everyone out I will

I absolutely will

I won't give the very best of me and end up withering away

if all I have is one person who gets it, who treats me like I do them, then that's enough, that's more than enough

but I don't

and even if for a while I won't

I absolute refuse to be this complete push over, not anymore

I won't be this person

not anymore.


© tonnaV