Beauty on another level finally got to meet the devil,
Or maybe I made that rose show it's thorns by plucking every little tiny petal,
I guess it is what it is and isn't what it isn't,
Got it embedded in your head so much like you encrypted it In digits,
Or someone else did it thenq you can say how your innocent,
And how you been doing it all by yourself cuz of my absences,
What about what I put up with that I'm sure I'll never get credited.
No, instead I'm viewed as the cause of your depression with my abusiveness,
Drugs that didn't end and all of my excuses,
Wasn't till it was dead and gone I understood it's effectiveness
I was so stubborn and ignorant,
Something we both never could have expected.
Everyday a piece of me painfully shreds away,
For all the love we tossed away for all the shame I choose to drink every single day,
All the dope I used to numb all the pain away,
Fell so hard then fell apart,
My Sky will never be the same without you in it my shooting star.
Memories engrave my brain of our story full of hurt and rage and lust and blame on every single page.
The damage is what you remember but I never forget the chapters of laughter,
The times when we enjoyed each other's company and the times how we felt actually mattered,
When we'd cook side by side and the high times at night chuckling with our chatter,
When you had a rough day so I'd say rest yourself and lay and id try to help with lotion's that lather.
I've done my part I know I engulfed your light In dark,
But you knew my cards right from the start and still you filled me up with hope just to breach my chest and make your own little Vudu heart,
You can play and squeeze and laugh and tease and get all that you want and need,
I'd smile and cheese believed forever it could be you and me,
Then you flip the switch get mad and scream,
Taking all of your emotions out on me,
Overwhelming anxiety every night I'd cry to sleep,
Want me to hurt then congratulations you made me bleed.
Now I'm back on my feet back on the search but not for a girl but for my worth,
Cuz I've come to realize giving someone that much power over me will only make things worse.
I should talk tho cuz I'm the expert, at making things worse.
Keep saying that you tried your best to help me and couldn't,
It was more like you were willing to do what we said and never give in but wouldn't cuz the ppl around you said that you shouldn't.
Why would you if they didn't agree,
Already took a gamble by dating me,
Remember your mom told you love was a choice and I'm not who you need,
You made me see potential in myself and actually believe I could succeed,
Finally feeling complete we both take the riskiest of leaps,
Thinking we'd fall forever and ever until we came spiraling down from the heaven tried to land but broke both our feet as we shattered our dream.
Fairytales and fables are something I'm no longer able to humor,
So when you say fake it till you make it then I'll never make it cuz I'm so sick of being fake like a rumor,
Our kingdom of jesters no jewelers frozen soul no cooler just a beautiful ruler,
How do I measure up to the new one if I have no ruler the love of your life is just a loser,
Wish I could go back to the future and sync my hardrivee to your computer,
I understand alot more than you think I guess it's better late than never just wish I could've made late happen much sooner...