I tell myself that my trust issues are only because I am weak.
That I'm living in a glass bubble only because I choose to.
Convincing myself that I'm always on the defensive because I am a coward.
Telling myself that the walls surrounding me are because I am selfish.
I blame myself and no one else.
I never say it's you, I never will.
Even though my fear is because you've left me bleeding one too many times.
Even though my walls only exist because of you hurt me.
You look me in the eye and call me selfish when all I do is give myself for you.
You leave scars that keep me alert, hiding from the world.
Frightened by the possibility of being hurt again.
You're the problem.
It's your fault I'm living in self imposed prison.
And yet I turn the other cheek and tell myself that it's all me.
I'm the reason I hurt.
And I hate myself for not being strong enough to hate you.

© @NatalieChilikwela