You tell me to feel and not think. The moment I feel my heart sinks. I feel happy and calm around you, I feel the motivation of you. I feel my soul sit up straight and tell me to pay attention. I feel the weight of your worry, I feel how much your hurting. I feel how much our energy matches. I feel how safe you are. I feel a need to meet you. I feel a pull to message you, I feel a reason to run from you. I feel volulerable and weak and powerful. I feel confused and never so sure of someone in my life. I feel fear, I feel like I can do anything and I feel like I can do nothing. I feel sexual energy the moment I hear your voice. I feel excitement. I feel impatient. I feel inadequate. I feel loved. I feel accepted.
it isn't that I think and don't feel, rather the opposite. when your around I can't help but feel all of it. so intensely that my mind says this can't be coincidence. It tells me there is a reason. it isn't just a season. I try to walk away not once but twice and that pull just won't let me roll the dice. Iv met a couple others but I feel nothing in comparison. talking to them was like imprisonment. boring and slow, no quick wit, nothing. I just can't stop thinking. About you and what this feeling is, and why would the universe bring me this. It the last thing I need, no more seeds. my garden is closed to new ideas. I'm better off solo even if its needless. feeling things has made this pointless. feels that can never come to light, and yet I still fight. ugh frustration is another thing I feel. I wish we could just have a meal. maybe it would be shown in the start if I could just touch your heart. but there I go again doing that stuff, where you think I don't know where my dreams stop and reality starts.
© BeautifulBlueGem