Fire or water?
I'm not sure which one to choose.
Burn away my trouble's or drown in my own sadness?
Can someone please tell me what to do?

Run or hide?
How bout both?
But is it it the best choice?
Live or die?
Live with their cruelty and hope to survive?
Or die and leave this awful world behind?

Sticks and stones can break my bones but your words can't hurt me.
That's a big lie! Their words are sharper than knives, leaving me bleeding on the inside, barely able to breathe.

Mean remarks and hurtful statements.
Conversations filled with threats, harsh truth, and resentment.
Is that even healthy communication?
When they ask i lie and say we're friends.
Seriously! How much more messed up could i be?

You know there's a wall in my room, filled with poems I wrote in pain.
See my problems is i don't fix things, i just try to repaint.
But what's the point, it's still gonna be there.
But who cares? No one needs to see the person that I am.
But even if I cover it up, it's not going anywhere.
Do you understand?

You see when I die, please spit on my grave.
That way I can haunt you, and give you the blame.
Selfish huh? Well I'm kinda insane.
Don't take it personally, I'm not tryna be mean.

Hahahahaha
Sometimes I laugh at jokes that aren't even funny.
My life for example, not so sweet like honey.
Sometimes I feel like I'm in prison, sleeping behind bars.
And that prison is my mind and outside is a war.
But whose gonna be the winner?
Cause I know it for fact that I'll die.
Why? Cause I don't deserve to be alive!

My life Is a bit blank, black and white theme.
There's no color, a little red maybe.
It comes from my wrists, when cuts begin to bleed.

My life is full of regrets, i should get a trophy for that.
The girl who always make mistakes, even the same ones over and over again.
My life's a sad song but the melodies aren't sweet.
The lyrics are bitter, where the words meet.

Suicide.
That's my favorite word.
Probably because it's always on my mind.
But I'm a coward.
Too darn scared to die.

Is it because it's too painful?
But it can be painless too.
Maybe I don't wanna see the satisfaction in my haters eyes.
Or the sadness in those who do care about me even if it's just a little.
Why kill yourself when there's more you can be?
Yeah i don't think I agree.

Fear and depression came to me years ago, we became friends.
Now here I am trying to get rid of them.
I can't fight, they already won.
Besides, I'm tired, too much shit going on.

I wanna go back, but I can't  change and be who I was before.
Is that me or the depression talking?
I don't know anymore.


© WarningKoala