I enjoy the solitude of my own company, the controlled loneliness that liberates me.

In a society where we are continuously connected, where noise and commotion surround us, being alone provides me with serenity.

The city streets have become my refuge, my getaway from the bustle and chaos of routine.

I am free to ponder and fantasise as I walk the streets, to let my mind roam without interruption, to watch the world around me, to take in the sights and sounds of the city.

I can pause and gaze at a building, a tree, or a bird without feeling compelled to hurry or explain my behaviour.

When I return to my flat, I am not greeted with

I lie down in my bed, the familiar sound of my own breath, the sound of my own heartbeat, the emptiness a comfort, a space where I can be alone with my thoughts and feelings.

But there are times when fear creeps in, when I wonder if this life of controlled loneliness is sufficient.

The thought of not having anybody to miss or love, of not having somebody to share my life with, fills me with sorrow.

Is it self-centered to want cocooning and control while the heart yearns for someone to hold?

Is it feasible to have it both ways? To have the freedom to be alone while still knowing that someone will be there for us when we need them?

// End of the actual poem //

//If you want positivity including this will make sence//

So I'll keep wandering and embracing my space, enjoying the freedom and beauty of being alone, but I'll also keep an open heart and an open face, ready to embrace the prospect of intimacy and affection, because life is too short to let fear dictate our fate, and we cannot predict what trials and tribulations await us on the path we choose.


© -Athenaa