constantly telling myself I am stronger than I look
constantly believing that I'd be great and successful someday soon
constantly having ideas that I think are great
but then the next minute I become weak
i begin to swim in the ocean of self-doubt
I just blow hot and cold

sometimes I feel like someone is living there lives in my body
sometimes I look at myself and say Barbara is that you?
just to be sure am the one in control of my body and mind
...