Never had any faith in me
Never cared to think about it's negative effect on me
Nothing people care about more than pity
It's so easy to disregard people to justify treating them the way you deemed fit
You taught me that crying didn't accomplish shit
I have valid reasons to weep
Wounds you couldn't see refusing to look that deep
No drugs were needed to acknowledge realities pain
Though it comforts people to chant that I'm using them again
I didn't need them to see the ruin
As I never expected the best or that you'd come to terms with what you were doing
Coming to terms with the life I'm losing
Consideration is seen, I don't know where I'm going
Their opinions stifled my progression
Guess I was made for second guessing?
As a 15 year old I skipped school just to lay awake stressing
Mid life crisis like my next birthday was just a dead end
Remember every argument you started just to save money I wouldn't ask you to spend?
"I was"
Was the extent of your love
If you don't remember mine, I'll be fine
One less person to remind me they didn't give a fuck
I dropped the tradition just to evade every pervasive condition
When you begin to care little about the life your living
When depression was just something you lied about, as if I didn't abuse that medication failed to drown my problems out
The next day always came
I suffer from the needless damage I've done to my brain
When you rather get punched in the face than acknowledge the soul crushing pain
Wounds heal
They stop hurting
They don't fill the holes left by the children you deserted
Not once was that ever easy
If you worked towards any semblance of honesty
You would've made them a priority
Instead of thinking of ways to slander my character right after you said they wanted to see me
I love my children
Their absence is felt throughout my entire being
Yet I'm treated like I'm heartless
You say a few good words
Cry an I know I'm not the only person that would ever hurt
When you really care, you don't get worse
Unless you just wanted the comfort you didn't deserve
This an anything else worth a mention
Takes a lot of work
I don't want to be apart of your herd
I wanna be heard
So the pain can go with me when I leave this world
"You make me not wanna live"
Try hearing that an being kind enough to carefully curate the advice you give
When something impacts you enough to cry an not think about all the times they treated you like shit
An existential crisis
A necessity if you cared to get to the bottom of it
How much...