if I could remind the stories of my past,
I would only rewind it to the time I met you,
for at the time I never knew love,
until the time I met you
I drifted so close to the Stars
that I begin to melt
I told you I needed some time for myself
only now I realize that was wrong I needed you to be my strength to carry me through I needed love I needed you. but now I've walked so far away I regressed so far.
how can I tell you all the things I needed to how can I tell you I thought it was wrong for you, but in truth I never had anything good in life until I needed you I was afraid of losing you so I gave you up now I'm in hell and burning up, I do so many things in an unmindful way, I lost my heart so long ago that was the day I gave it to you, I never went to another woman, I never wanted anyone else but you, but sometimes I am who I am, and then sometimes I'm somebody else to, these things might be confusing to the reader, but they're not confusing to you,
I pray everyday that I never wake when I sleep, because so often my dreams are of you, I made the mistake of a lifetime all because I was scared, and this is something new to me I've never been afraid of anything, I've always been intrepid, now I lost my brightest star, I always want you to buy me, and I'm going to be with you so damn bad, but every time I get close to you I seem to run the opposite way instead, oh God oh God oh God, how can this be a reality? unless everything else was thinking life, but I know it's not true. I see you reaching out on your posts. but I don't know how to get to you and I know you won't come to me, this is quite the conundrum, and I know it's not meant to be. so if you're out there, and you know that it's me, can we work something out? I know you're over the legal troubles, that you told me you were in so long ago they kept us separated. but now I don't know if I lost the best thing in my life. I don't know if I'll ever have you again. though we never met in person, you're the best thing I ever have. so I pray at night that I drift off and never wake, because the death would be so much easier than how I am this way with this separate.
© dejectedpeot_flowing
Thomas ott.
to my twin flame.