sadness inside the sadness inside the cigarette pack....

I sat here smoking this death of cancer thinking of you...



regrets and shame what I have lost...

knowing you will not return...


it paralyzes my mind it gets me chills down my body....

living this way without you by my side


the question is is it a nightmare or a dream my dear Alyssa....

wishing it was not the truth......

staring through Lord lovel


inside these broken mirrors


she started to look back. ....


I guess I am falling apart.....


she is my fallen Angel or my demon it's complex to think about.....


she gave me the gift to write....


now I am starting to lose the passion for it because you are gone.....


let a million dagger's Pierce whatever's left of my soul.....


hoping that would be the end of my legacy....


but it wouldn't.....


it wouldn't even face me


because I am cursed with the black souls


broken heart....


lost in these diamonds

wishing you return back in my arms....


hoping I can escape these chains for good....



November is on the way.....


getting close to hang the rope and in it for good.....


contemplating suicide


inside is empty expression of my Mass

I think it's time to change up the clothing dressed in black wearing a ghost face because I am forgotten without my Queen by my side....


rotting in pieces.....

just like the plan I am living in....


tie the center block around my leg and throw me in the ocean then I will forgotten......



followed by crows everywhere I look....


not a metaphor that's life I am living in my dear Alyssa.....



so many cuts so many roads....

the sky does not shine sunny here no more only thing I see is clouds surrounding my vision......


listen to the rhythm I am listening to maybe you would understand why I did you so bad......




forgive me my dear Alyssa


at the end I hurt everyone who gets close to me


this is the end Lord lovel....

my heart still bleeds for you

inside these broken skeletons.....

I sleep on.....


shadows do follow me inside this path I am walking......



I wish you were here to brighten up my day once again my queen....

lord lovel......