self reflection: emotions

I simply cannot predict where mine begin or end. the pattern, it's reasons, nothing makes sense.

all I know is that I feel, all I know is that it aches, that I may not be able to explain it, but deep in my heart I am reaching for you

I am not a stranger to how blind I become, how irrational I become, how utterly buried in my own feelings I get, how I just want, how it hurts when I can't have. it almost sounds toxic, alittle self destructive, especially when I'm not allowed to want, when I'm not wanted back, when there's absolutely no explanation for my feelings other than the fact that I look at you and I just...