self reflection: emotions

I simply cannot predict where mine begin or end. the pattern, it's reasons, nothing makes sense.

all I know is that I feel, all I know is that it aches, that I may not be able to explain it, but deep in my heart I am reaching for you

I am not a stranger to how blind I become, how irrational I become, how utterly buried in my own feelings I get, how I just want, how it hurts when I can't have. it almost sounds toxic, alittle self destructive, especially when I'm not allowed to want, when I'm not wanted back, when there's absolutely no explanation for my feelings other than the fact that I look at you and I just feel so much,

I think about you and feel even more.

I think of the happiness that was always present in your eyes and feel gratitude for it

I think of your confession, about the knowledge of the mask you wear and my heart just aches for you.

I don't know you, I have no right to want you

but the truth is that I do, I care about you, and I can't explain it half of the time, actually all of the time, but I'd be your person if you needed one, cuz all my heart wants from you is for you to be happy

for you to be the best you, for you to not have a heavy heart, for you to live your best life. I may not know you, but I hold you extremely dearly, and if it is written in the stars, explanations and reasons for things I cannot comprehend, maybe one day you'll look into my eyes, read my word's and you'll see just how much

and maybe, hopefully, you won't run the other direction, because at the end of the day, only you exist in my galaxy, I do not in yours

© tonnaV