The mind is so boggled
With my thoughts toggled.
Is it this way or that way,
What’s it gonna be today?

Trying to clear the mind,
Sanctuary so hard to find.
Torched mind in the past
Relit without being asked.

Feelings become strayed,
Crushing thoughts invade.
Silence again the norm
As I ride out the storm.

Mixed thoughts run rife
As some cut like a knife.
The days of good and bad
Echo of the past one had.

Future’s looking so bright.
Yet the past remains a blight.
Not all faults were of your own
When others did cast the stone.

Shame curses the one fragile,
The guilty allowed to be vagile.
Allow me to be at peace forever,
Take away the hurt, wherever.

Bittersweet memories do remain
Of a love lost, heavy heart in pain.
“Go fuck yourself!” silently I yell,
“So you think your shit don’t smell.”

You didn’t want to be told the truth
So your behaviour became uncouth.
You were protected, while I rotted
Yet I will grow like a flower repotted.

A whole new life ahead is to start
And you wanted to see me fall apart.
I’m done with that kind of feeling
Now I just want to go on healing.

While publicly I’m not known to swear,
I will because I’ve Iearnt lovingly to care.
Not for you, for me, you pompous arse
I am over your ignorant worldly farce.

Bittersweet memories hold instead,
To live and learn, not just feel dead
I will have the last laugh with my friends,
My mind rejuvenated by a ‘detox cleanse.’

There's more to life than “king shit!”,
Life, at times, can be like a comedy skit.
Bittersweet moments are life’s lessons,
Something that will cast impressions.

Oh for me to let go of the bittersweet,
Will be triumph in a life turning upbeat.
Years of allowing my mind to be trashed,
Now able to talk and not be so abashed.

©EKEllis(2022)