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weight check at my doctors
and then you told me one of my biggest fears at the moment,
It’s really my biggest opponent.
It’s my illness that has me in control
and took also parts of my soul.
I am so scared of gaining weight,
but everyone says it’s something great.
It just felt like a stab in my chest
and I just want to cry and rest.
It makes me feel so fucking uncomfortable
and it’s just miserable.
I feel like I failed
And this feeling starts to get prevailed.
I know it’s a good thing and I should be proud,
but I am not and the voices are so loud.
My eating disorder is worse then ever,
but I won’t tell you, never.
The water before is helping me to show the doctor that I am better,
They don’t know my trick, so it doesn’t matter.
Yeah, maybe that’s the topic about which I always lie,
but this illness controls me so I can justify.
© lisann
It’s really my biggest opponent.
It’s my illness that has me in control
and took also parts of my soul.
I am so scared of gaining weight,
but everyone says it’s something great.
It just felt like a stab in my chest
and I just want to cry and rest.
It makes me feel so fucking uncomfortable
and it’s just miserable.
I feel like I failed
And this feeling starts to get prevailed.
I know it’s a good thing and I should be proud,
but I am not and the voices are so loud.
My eating disorder is worse then ever,
but I won’t tell you, never.
The water before is helping me to show the doctor that I am better,
They don’t know my trick, so it doesn’t matter.
Yeah, maybe that’s the topic about which I always lie,
but this illness controls me so I can justify.
© lisann
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