Vacant parking lots, clean rooms
Screams turned to whispers turned to echoes
I still hear you

Small bubbles forming beneath my eyes
The pot is bound to overflow yet again tonight
Why has the air turned sour
...I loved you

Why did you turn so bitter?
Causing my lips to pucker and my features to scrunch
I'll hum softer tunes to myself as I stare emptily at the ceiling

Honestly these questions answer themselves
Times have changed
What I once willingly tolerated, I now find repulsive
That is not your fault

Not entirely...

I'm sure we view things different
I'm sorry for what I was, what I am, and what I'll be
But I'll only express it if you're sorry for what you were, what you are, and what you'll be
I'm not compromising anymore...

I loved you, but I don't love you, and I don't plan on loving you
I hope you follow suit, but that is out of my control
I understand that now

Thank you for your time, your love, your thoughts
But they weren't worth my time, my love, and my thoughts
I understand that now

Cluttered parking lots, messy rooms
Serenity, peace, and quiet
I still hear you

Back aching, blistered feet
I've worn through the soles of another pair of shoes
The tip of my tongue can't taste
The sky is bland

I wonder if I'm happier...
And honestly? ...No
But my shoulders move a bit freer
And my heart feels a little less cramped

Sometimes I mistake that open space as emptiness
Sometimes I'll curl in on myself, feeling alone and wrong in my skin
Sometimes I'll crave to relieve this world of my presence and relieve myself of the world

But this is what I am, what I chose, and how I'll be
It'll get better
Whatever better is, it'll get there

Under construction parking lots, remnants of a room
Beeping, drills, and jackhammers
I still hear you




© Marah Schneider