You lay there sleeping,
But never dreaming.
Or is it that you always forget?
Never mention a word of what you've dreamt.
Do you still daydream, having hopes for our future?
Can you no longer see the bigger picture?
You used to have wild ideas, that left me speechless.
Back then you were so fearless.
Traveling near and far.
Your imagination was higher than the stars.

With this illness, you feel beaten…
I learned courage and gained freedom
While fighting to accept this,
Losing your independence.
Forgetting, your disability isn't who you are.
From the start, I loved who you were.
We are both struggling with who you have become.
Hoping that to your illness you will never succumb.

Or have you already?
Making yourself feel unsteady.
Like an old sailboat on choppy waters.
But it isn’t just your body that falters.
Your thoughts you have tainted,
The canvas you left unpainted,
In a corner to collect dust.
This life, you are still living, no matter how unjust.
Staying angry isn't going to get you anywhere.
Please don't stay bitter because life isn't fair.

Your seizures are not the only part of you.
But you still withdrew.
Asking how you feel,
Losing more than just a steering wheel.
You leave the questions unanswered.
Your own life you have slandered.
I wish you could see
Who you used to be,
Without being afraid of who you are now.
I know how that sounds…
But I'm asking what hides behind those frowns.
Will you ever allow yourself to vent?
If you let it out wouldn't you be content?

Struggling to remember events in your life.
Will you remember the day I became your wife?
Will you remember
October?
When we wedded in the middle of a pandemic.
We didn't care because our love was magnetic.
Will you remember
December?
Our oldest was born during a blizzard.
Our tires needed to be replaced from being overweathered.
Will you remember
September?
When our youngest was born during a heatwave.
You told me that I was brave.
Will you remember them growing up?
Rolling, crawling, and first steps, watching as their minds develop.
Will you remember them now as babies
Ever changing, growing their personalities.

We lay here in bed,
You are sleeping, not a thought in your head.
I cannot rest,
Thoughts are making my heart race in my chest.
One day you may not remember.
Images become vague and blurred.
I would want you to know I'm still here.
Making my intentions loud and clear.
Sickness and in health, till death, does us part.
I've been here from the start.
As I fell in love with you six years ago,
We will grow the changes you may undergo.
We are still in this together.
No matter how high the difficulties may measure.
Will you remember?

© A. Tenney