Im the girl the one i see which is me this is heartbreaking.The girl crying over her dead moms body while wanting to see,love,touch,know the goddess that is infront of me.How can I love her when I'm a girl.How can I love her when this will bring my family shame,pain, heartbreak. How can I not be straigh.How can this be my identity.Will my family still love me with my new identity.Can I deny myself my identity to be liked and loved by others.What about the others that have hatred towards me because of this.If my mom was alive would she accept me.Or would I no longer be her daughter instead i would be dirt like the dirt that she wipes off her feet.Will my family kick me out because I make them sick.That girl is my deepest desire the one I feel I will die without.Im not sure if I could live without her.Do I tell her I love her what if she dosen't love me back?What if she tells my secret?What if she hates me?Should I take the leap of faith.Is it even okay to love and know that I have this identity that I'm not straight that I'm different.Is it okay to even say the word lesbian let alone be one.How did that girl that goddesses infront of me make my life so complicated?
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