I am more than your words.
I am.
I am.
I am.
I am more than his words.
I am.
I am.
I am.
I am more than her words.
I am.
I am.
I am.
I am more than their words.
I am.
I am.
I am.
I am more than what he says.
I am more than what she says.
I am more than what they say.
I am.
I am.
I am.

Getting up everyday trying to get these voices in my head to just shut up is so challenging.
Smiling through the “I’m stupid”.
Laughing through the “I’m worthless.”
Faking it til I make it through the “I’m not enough”.
Trying to feel pretty through the “I’m not pretty enough.”
Trying to work hard through the “I’m not capable enough.”
Trying to rise above all of the negative things people has said to me is super hard.
Words do hurt and they leave excruciating scars.
Lots of people don’t think before they speak.
Before you know it your whole entire head is backed with insult after insult.
Bad wish after bad wish.
The harsh words just keep passing through my brain.
It’s making me sick.

Getting up everyday working through the “something is wrong with you.”
Blasting loud music just to make all of the insults go away.
Tuning out my negative thoughts in order for me to be okay.
Trying to convince myself that “I AM MORE THAN WHAT THEY HAVE SAID!!!”
Trying to prove to myself that “I AM MORE THAN WHAT THEY THINK!!”
Trying to reassure myself that “I AM MORE THAN THEIR WORDS!!!”

It’s hard not to think about their words, you know?
It’s hard to not take their words to heart.
It’s hard not to take any of it personally.
It’s hard to forget.
It’s even harder to remember.
Who honestly wants to remember the hurtful things someone has said over and over again?
Especially when most of it came from the people who claimed to have loved and cared for you.
I think that’s a stab in the heart that seems almost impossible to take out.
Because once you’re stabbed, that wound is deep.
And that wound gets deeper and deeper as the harsh words and insults keep on coming and coming.
It’s hard to forget.
It’s hard to make it all go away mentally.

It’s hard to look your loved ones in the face who have told you “you add no value to their life.”
“You’re nothing.”
“You’re not important.”
“I don’t know why you exist.”
“You have no purpose.”
“You deserve to be alone.”
It’s hard to pretend those words have never left from their lips.
Because you know it did.
And though you may want to wish those words away.
You may want to wish the hurt away.
Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.
I’m not a genie in a bottle.
And they certainly cannot take back what they’ve said.

You know something else?
Sorry can’t take away the pain.
Sorry can’t take away what had already been said
Sorry can’t calm the thoughts that comes along with the words that has already left someone’s lips.
Sorry can’t magically fix the emotional and mental damage that follows after the words hits too close to home.
Sorry can’t erase the fact that verbal abuse is just as damaging as any other form of abuse. -W.O.S.

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