#WritcoPoemPrompt2
In the end it was just me and my thoughts,
A painful trap, long after you were gone.
I knew I'd feel this way, I've got used to feeling bad,
just wasn't forsure how long it would last.
It seems to be different for me everytime.
I've been clean, right now, close to thirty days, and
still finding it hard, just getting through the days.
When I was messing around with you,
my thoughts were so clear, bright and vibrant, and
seemed real. Now that I'm clean,
I'm having trouble, most times, I can't hold even a thought.
Now, I have racing thoughts, even more so, than before.
My thoughts, are all over the board.
If I were throwing darts, and
the bulls eye represented my future, which is in the center,
I'd be know where near.
Skipping one place to the next.
Only to remember, a piece of life, here and there.
My lifes still like, a jumbled up puzzle,
a big mess.
I pretty much know, that I'm not yet, ready to quit.
I've always been spontaneous, and sill only live for the moment.
Now my life is flashing before my eyes.
No longer, unable to focus.
I don't ever remember being able to. I'm being honest,
my thoughts always seem to be on, something else.
It's hard to gain back, something, that you never had.
I still have insomnia,
and I don't thing I've ever had, just a normal nights rest.
I just want to be able to sleep, like all the rest.
I'm still kicking and screaming, and
usually always suffer with restless leg.
It's got so bad, my girlfriend have to sleep,
in separate rooms. I have several tics, that are noticable,
but most still don't notice.
It's because, I'm cautious, times remaining quite,
it usually only when I come to work, at work or while in public.
That's what always has, botherd me the most....