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if i’m making “excuses”
If being bipolar implies I’d make excuses for shit because “I am not my mental illnesses,”
then I guess
it could be said
that sometimes,
sometimes I don’t
feel like doing anything at all.
Sometimes,
when I’m taking care of our kitten,
I’d stick her in the carrier bag because she exhausts me.
My mental health,
as did with the chicken,
is getting worse again.
---
It’s “nothing hard,” but I get overwhelmed.
It’s “nothing hard,” but sometimes I can’t find the strength to ‘want.’
Sometimes I don’t want to take care of him.
I can’t even take care of myself.
If you are your assumptions,
then I assume I can stay alive.
I assume I can at least feed myself.
I assume I can at least…
That’s it.
I assume I can, ‘at least.’
---
I hear her mewls
and think,
‘God, I need someone... I want someone... I want someone like the fictional men I know and love.’
I cannot concentrate.
Things are not right and I cannot
say why,
because it all hurts.
It all hurts,
and I cannot configure why.
© Fae 💕
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