Writing is weird
Writing about your feelings is even weirder
Peeling back your perfectly placed seal
Revealing the things you so carefully hid
Digging through and searching every last part
Uncovering things you forgot were there
Reliving a moment
Igniting the embers of a once burning emotion
Hurting yourself all over again
All for an attempt at properly capturing the complexity of what once was
All so you can get every crumb of it out and fully forget

A few times, my re-lit flame almost took over
The numbed and once forgotten feeling, brought back to life
Set on taking control
I've had my hands burned, trying to keep it from spreading
I had to put it out
I couldn't finish the writing,
but I've published the scraps that I've dug out of the ashes

To write about these feelings I allow myself to be swallowed by the flame
I have to be burned by it all over again in order to understand

It always seems that when I have a feeling I want to write,
I must write before the feeling dumbs down
Once I miss my chance
Once the feeling fades
It is too late
If I still want to capture its complexity
I must peel back my perfectly placed seal
and burn myself all over again
All for writing

Oh, how I love writing


© Rwr!tes