It wouldn't matter to me whether or not society will appreciate my reasons of leaving us because I know that you understand that my dreams are my first love. I know that you acknowledge that much before I visioned a future with you, I had weaved multiple innocent stories around my dreams.
Everyone will question my strength; they will curse me for not choosing a man because settling is supposed to be the end purpose in a woman's life. But I could take my flight off only because I remember you believing in my strength when I almost disbelieved in my actions and complained of how hazy my path appeared. You taught me to not settle down for what does not offer satisfaction. I am ready to be addressed selfish so long you, in distance, keep your beliefs for me intact and unchanged as you promised to.
This time I wouldn't let society impose it's timeline and norms upon me to teach me to move on; I will have to make peace with the fact that you and I are now a life time apart but then, you have loved me hard for a life time enough, a love that's timeless. Where does then the game of moving on play?
-----------------------------------
But someday far off or
soon in moonless night,
if you long for the spark
of my eyes, or break down
when I am not by your side
and fingers long for a rub
against my skin and your
heart may sing
"tshollhama , roshe roshe
walo myani poshay, madno
chollhama"
remind yourself of the patience
and passion in your love for me,
the transparency with which you
touched me, the peace that you
found in loving and forgiving
and wait for the karmic justice
you have believed in!
withhold strength
and seive out pain.

With the trace of your fingers
darkening on my skin, I have
ways of meeting you in ways
I intuitively believe exist.
My jaana, my beloved, my madno,
I will keep you, in afternoon tea,
under my pillow, in letters, in poetry
I will romance with your absence,
I will gaze at you from distance,
and even though I shouldn't but I
will sing
"Walo myani poshay madno"
But I will love you more for
not being a patriarch
when I fall again on my path,
they will laugh again and curse me
but it wouldn't matter
if you believe me again,
when I choose myself again!

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