Yesterday I had a panic attack. One of many I've had before. But somehow yesterday's one held a certain something to it. Maybe it was how my hands kept shaking in the dark not willing to stop, or the fact that I only slept for a few minutes because I drank black coffee before I slept, but like I said, yesterday was different.

It felt raw and unsettling.

For the first time, I felt like reaching after shutting it out away from the world. My fatal little flaw. Yesterday I felt like I needed a warm hug, a forehead kiss, and someone to tell me I was gonna be okay.

And when I listened to music, I let God take over. Because at that moment I saw how I could never do it on my own. Survive that is. So here I am. Crying out, saying I'm tired. So freaking tired.

~Black_Phoenix
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