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Dear Narinder.
And these days ,
I miss you terribly,
like an orphan missing his non existing home
or a mother looking for her dead child in her dorm.
How did i not realise the moments we had were futile and not so large ?
when did i promise you to be friends forever and now your silhouette creeps up on my arm?
I still think about you everyday,
Like a forgotten Polaroid rotting somewhere i hid ,
Or is it somewhere engraved in your heart when i said,
"Hey ,don't give up on me even if the world ends",
But the world ended with you when you left,
Like you took a part of me to Oblivion and never came back,
I won't lie to you i still miss you today,
So i listen to the songs i think you'd like if you heard them today,
You never grew old for me ,
You left that version of you with me,
We robbed each other of this sanctity,
This unforgettable tradegy of friendship,
Worse than the world ending if not today but tomorrow,
I'll keep saving these scrapes of texts i find on the internet,
In hopes that if you return someday,
I will be the same for you,
And you'll be changed,
But oh the longing,
The longing will keep hollowing me everyday,
I still remember it clear as a day,
We were quiet on the call,
And you cried for the first time and i couldn't say,
Say that you mattered to me even if we parted ways,
But i couldn't bring up myself to say that the partition would to be the very day i broke your heart,
How my half apologies couldn't compensate the harm,
I realised too late but soon enough,
Words ,how little they mean,
When you're a little too late.
I should've heard you back then,
Apologized and should've said ,
"Hey ,i won't give up on you even if the world ends",
But isn't that human nature in its finest,
To think and caress memories like a scared child ,
To be someone's home and abandon them,
But what is home? If not the very first place you learn to run away from.
I should've known better back then,
When you told me your past,
Thinking your future was me.
But isn't grief the price we pay for unrequited love?
Because who would've known
All these "what if's" will rob me of my very home.

I called you home not knowing homelands are usually taken away,very well said by Mahmoud Darwish.
-tamanna


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