As these freaking things continue to reappear in my dreams
those horrible little fiascos that I created apparently in my teens
twas not just the acts I committed
or the absurd talks I spitted
twas the philosophical justification that I regularly repeated
in my head in order to make me feel good about myself
that's the kinda stuff I've had to deal with till I used to wear out my self
all due to the flashbacks after flashbacks on loop
playing in my head that I sometimes think how could my own subconscious stoop
to such a level of wickedness
disallowing me much needed rest rendering me listless
tearing me apart with this very stress
until the day I started meditating on my breath
that I realised all of that shit was just a stupid creation of my head
and that my own insecurities and thoughts had made a slave out of me
and made me place doubts on the
very core of the person I had always been
and despite a thousand flaws in me
I'm still hungry and keen
to learn from the setbacks and debacles that I've seen !!
© @unshakableabhishek