I know it's crashing, I see it... all of it just falling apart in front of me and I want to but I just, I just can't stop it. I don't know what to do. Then again what am I suppose to do? What am I suppose to do when I'm down so low I can't seem to be phased by anything happening around me, even when it's depressing, and it is, because I know they are all watching and thinking the same thing about me in their own minds, they all are talking amongst themselves of how much of a failure I am. How I can't seem to be open and caring and loving, how I am the bad guy, that I'm the messed up one...maybe they are right, or maybe I'm just so torn up that I just don't know how to love, or care. Maybe it's that I'm so shattered that I forgot how to allow myself those things without shutting down as a reflect in which turns into shutting everyone out, maybe it's because i have all these words in my head that I never say because every time I open my mouth they all fade away. So I'll apologize for the sake of all good to those whom feel hurt or mad towards the way my walls collide but I can't help the fact I find solace when I isolate and I know I can't make anyone understand what they can't relate

© It's Odessa