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Endless Nights Of The Faithless
Agony, depression, loneliness…
Wake up, 5 seconds pass by, life falling on you like heavy nicotine smoke going thru your lungs. Lack of oxygen to your brain, blurred vision, sleepy, heavy palpitation, carry on… shower, dress and go to work.
Electricity running from the bottom of your feet to the top of the back of your head. The need to scream permanently on, permanently sick.
My death will come with an apology, as I do this out of love and exhaust.
I’m tired of living, but I will not leave without securing a future for you.
You see, I died years ago… that time no one knew because it came without blood.
Call me crazy, I’m just alone I'm not lazy.
Call me an addict, I just want to run away, another bad day.
The truth is I want to murder me, make me quiet so these thoughts wont keep controlling me.
So they wont keep devoting me. To every truth I held to keep your feelings away.
Hours pass by but the clock don’t reflect.
Weight blanket of depression, heaviness of anxiety, burdens of the past , desperate for the future. I don’t want to live.
PTSD of anxiety, memories of deep depression, when will I get out? -You Won’t!
Constant fight will never end. This battle you fight raises every day, creeps up like the sun, yet no warmth comes of it.
No fancy words, no dictionary. No words exist to explain you. Word used to describe the indescribable. MiracleFuck.
You haunt my thoughts. Shame, loneliness, desperation, places you’ve never been at remind me of you. Tore up your wings and left you in the wind. Crushed your happiness, showed you how gruesome this life with no return can be. Karma is a bitch and I will forever pay for my actions. Didn’t give you a chance to say good bye. Took your decisions into my hands.
Left you naked and cold.
All this due to self preservation. You made me feel alive but could snap your fingers and make my fears come true.
From highest to lowest in seconds. Make my fears disappear and reappear.
Self preservation, these ups and highs.
Lungs filled with fear, trembling sweating hands. Tense shoulders and back. They call us the walking dead. Living in pain paying for our dues. Karma you bitch. You know what you have done.
© Arthur Normal
Wake up, 5 seconds pass by, life falling on you like heavy nicotine smoke going thru your lungs. Lack of oxygen to your brain, blurred vision, sleepy, heavy palpitation, carry on… shower, dress and go to work.
Electricity running from the bottom of your feet to the top of the back of your head. The need to scream permanently on, permanently sick.
My death will come with an apology, as I do this out of love and exhaust.
I’m tired of living, but I will not leave without securing a future for you.
You see, I died years ago… that time no one knew because it came without blood.
Call me crazy, I’m just alone I'm not lazy.
Call me an addict, I just want to run away, another bad day.
The truth is I want to murder me, make me quiet so these thoughts wont keep controlling me.
So they wont keep devoting me. To every truth I held to keep your feelings away.
Hours pass by but the clock don’t reflect.
Weight blanket of depression, heaviness of anxiety, burdens of the past , desperate for the future. I don’t want to live.
PTSD of anxiety, memories of deep depression, when will I get out? -You Won’t!
Constant fight will never end. This battle you fight raises every day, creeps up like the sun, yet no warmth comes of it.
No fancy words, no dictionary. No words exist to explain you. Word used to describe the indescribable. MiracleFuck.
You haunt my thoughts. Shame, loneliness, desperation, places you’ve never been at remind me of you. Tore up your wings and left you in the wind. Crushed your happiness, showed you how gruesome this life with no return can be. Karma is a bitch and I will forever pay for my actions. Didn’t give you a chance to say good bye. Took your decisions into my hands.
Left you naked and cold.
All this due to self preservation. You made me feel alive but could snap your fingers and make my fears come true.
From highest to lowest in seconds. Make my fears disappear and reappear.
Self preservation, these ups and highs.
Lungs filled with fear, trembling sweating hands. Tense shoulders and back. They call us the walking dead. Living in pain paying for our dues. Karma you bitch. You know what you have done.
© Arthur Normal
