It was a day like this that we first met
No, actually met is not the right word...collided
Ours was not voluntary...it was an accident
A discreet indiscreet appearance of two aliens trying to find home
It was destiny, writing the wrong fate
And from then, I vowed to fit in whatever space you let me

You wanted love so I vowed to love you .. I loved you with so many commas I didn't know where to put a Full stop
Accidentally in love ... a fated falling apart of two souls intended to separate
But love and reason keep little company of each other
Your hands fit into mine like a zipper
Our hearts stuck to each other like blue-gum extracts

That Wednesday when you told me you were leaving...
I knew you were leaving the town ..the surrounding but not me ..I'd go with you wherever you wanted
I'd survive miles of separation...
I'd survive hands not holding
I'd live with palms not touching..
You left with a postcard promise... a phonecall vow
A text message reunion..
Now I saw destiny righting its mistakes ...

I'm a writer..am able to make an entire day into words
But you are not ...your words are husks
A vacuum ..an emptiness only I could make whole
Months melted to an year and conversation became a wave
I tried to keep pieces of you I had managed to steal, until even my inhale meant losing you
A goodbye so vividly visual as a sea of grief stretched out before me and I couldn't delay it any longer

The day we called it quits was a year from now ago
I had already said goodbye so many times in my head, in so many  ways that I wasn't sure it would make a difference if I said one more
For you I had broken so many times, in so many ways that I could tell which wound was hurting
I took my pen and paper to a retreat to a small farming village up the hills beyond where you existed
Trying to push away any memory that will lead back to you was an ambitious attempt with too little success

Today lasted so long it felt like days and days were folded within the hours of  the day
I ran way  to try to hide from loneliness
To try and write poems that do not say " I miss you"
But instead .. I wrote this one ..just one more to add to the collection of the many that tell the twists of this one way traffic relationship

Ms. Kuria
© Ms.Kuria..