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The Miracle of Enough
I’m not fluent in the language of miracles
I’m more accustomed to the needing
Wishing
Praying
Ashes, sack cloth, smoke cleanses
I’m more used to the meteor avoiding me by the
Trillionth of a whatever
But still going through the day to day of
Needing
Wishing
Praying
For something better
To go from surviving to thriving
The come out of the endless winter
Demeter has placed upon my people
Only to descend to Hades and Persephone
For a reprieve
In reiki sessions the pain pours out as soon
As they touch me
Making room, making space for the good to take root
The pain of regret
The weight of loss
The palpability of open wounds
Of grief and sorrow
The constant sinus infection my soul has
Clogged with the sum of many
Full to brim
There’s no room at the inn for BabY Jesus
Or a miracle work of any kind
And so I trudge forward, living more for others
Than for myself
The tarot reader looked at me and said
You are supposed to be over here
It still took me months to open a deck
And my heart
And my mouth
And find out that I could divinate and channel
And ease the minds and hearts of perfect strangers
Or make my nieces cry
How do you know?
I don’t. but maybe I do.
Because I am so fluent in the language of pain
Of hurt
Of loss
That the moths that come to my flame looking for warmth
Are going to find more than refuge
They will find a mirror to see themselves
And eyes that see more than their facades
You have to have a broken heart to know how to fix one
I can never be a cardiologist, but I have a card
For that.
They say a birthmark can tell you how you died
The black mark on my torso has a white twin on my back
I like to think I am used to falling on swords for others
I am used to sacrificing myself
For those who are worth it
I am used to being sold for 30 pieces of silver
I am used to bearing the crosses
But I am also used to rising again
I am used to pushing through whatever
And whoever
Has been placed before me
I am used to walking through fire
I am used to the valley of the shadow of death
I do not fear evil
I know that it is darkest before the dawn and
That as long as the moon is shining
The sun will have to rise
The day after the worst day of your life
And as long as you can see it
Peak from the horizon, you have been chosen
To try again today
To love your children harder
To speak your truth a little louder
To push your fist a little higher
With the swords you once chose to fall upon
I suppose that is as close to miracles as I can get
And that, I suppose
Is enough.
© byjaztaihreen
I’m more accustomed to the needing
Wishing
Praying
Ashes, sack cloth, smoke cleanses
I’m more used to the meteor avoiding me by the
Trillionth of a whatever
But still going through the day to day of
Needing
Wishing
Praying
For something better
To go from surviving to thriving
The come out of the endless winter
Demeter has placed upon my people
Only to descend to Hades and Persephone
For a reprieve
In reiki sessions the pain pours out as soon
As they touch me
Making room, making space for the good to take root
The pain of regret
The weight of loss
The palpability of open wounds
Of grief and sorrow
The constant sinus infection my soul has
Clogged with the sum of many
Full to brim
There’s no room at the inn for BabY Jesus
Or a miracle work of any kind
And so I trudge forward, living more for others
Than for myself
The tarot reader looked at me and said
You are supposed to be over here
It still took me months to open a deck
And my heart
And my mouth
And find out that I could divinate and channel
And ease the minds and hearts of perfect strangers
Or make my nieces cry
How do you know?
I don’t. but maybe I do.
Because I am so fluent in the language of pain
Of hurt
Of loss
That the moths that come to my flame looking for warmth
Are going to find more than refuge
They will find a mirror to see themselves
And eyes that see more than their facades
You have to have a broken heart to know how to fix one
I can never be a cardiologist, but I have a card
For that.
They say a birthmark can tell you how you died
The black mark on my torso has a white twin on my back
I like to think I am used to falling on swords for others
I am used to sacrificing myself
For those who are worth it
I am used to being sold for 30 pieces of silver
I am used to bearing the crosses
But I am also used to rising again
I am used to pushing through whatever
And whoever
Has been placed before me
I am used to walking through fire
I am used to the valley of the shadow of death
I do not fear evil
I know that it is darkest before the dawn and
That as long as the moon is shining
The sun will have to rise
The day after the worst day of your life
And as long as you can see it
Peak from the horizon, you have been chosen
To try again today
To love your children harder
To speak your truth a little louder
To push your fist a little higher
With the swords you once chose to fall upon
I suppose that is as close to miracles as I can get
And that, I suppose
Is enough.
© byjaztaihreen
